Unsuspecting Dreamer

Chapter 9 Moving On

It's breathtaking. I feel so small. I have been at Grand Canyon National Park since sunrise, roaming around all morning, writing and taking pictures.

Now I sit on a bench in the warmth of the afternoon. Penning a letter to Sarah. I have a photo copy of the picture of Hunter and I. I tell her how I almost was run over, by his vehicle, I know the story will give her great happiness.

It's nice to have someone to share stuff with, even if it is just a 10 year old, and I can't tell her anything heavy.

An old man sits down on the other end of the bench. "Excuse me miss, do you have the time?"

I look at him and smile. "One-twenty," I tell him. At that my stomach reminds me I haven't satisfied it's needs in a while. "Excuse me," I say as I stand. As I walk away a lady approaches the bench; she must be the man's wife. I can't help looking over my shoulder to see her sit next to him and watch him put his hand around her. It is such an adorable scene. A poem springs up into my mind and I dig out a pen, unable to reach any paper, I end up writing it on an envelope. And the poem was already starting to fade.

Back at the van I pull some beef jerky from my food pack. I open the back hatch and sit on the bumper in the shade. I watch the wind sifting over all of the tourists. I've figured out why my parents chose this place for creating a special moment. A proposal here would be perfection. I am reminded of the letter sitting in my glove compartment. The letter from HIM. I am still too mad to open it. I wonder if he's figured out she's dead and I am gone yet? I wonder if he will regret not being there to say goodbye?

I push off my thoughts. Now I just want to get out of here. I can't stand dwelling on the past; I won't allow it.

I drive away, colors more vivid, eyes bone dry. Each time I think I am past the pain and abandonment it resurfaces.

Colorado, here I come, only 10 hours to go. I turn on my radio and crank it up.

-----

June 21st: I wake up in a hospital in Alabama with no idea how I got here.

It's frightening, waking up and not knowing where you are. For a minute I lay there in a frozen state of shock. I can't even remember my name.

Then it all comes flooding back;

Denver almost kept me. I even started looking for a job, but nothing worked out. I felt so free, so happy.

On my second day in Denver I walked into a book shop and was awestruck. The store had extensive collections and collectable treasures.

"Hello," a voice called from the back of the store.

"Hi," I reply.

"Be right with you."

"Don't hurry," I call back.

I hear creaking as a man in a wheelchair comes rolling into view.

"My name is Noah. What can I help you find?" He holds out his hand and shakes mine.

I liked Noah right away. While he helped me find a few books we talked. He's 29, and he owns the bookshop. He lost the use of his legs in a skiing accident when he was 13. I told him about my small and insignificant life. He is the first person who listened to me and tells me that I am not worthless. He made me proud of my trials. When I talked about my passion for writing he gave me a card of an editor, his cousin.

While he rang me up he asked me for coffee. I was taken by surprise. He's moderately good looking, brown curly hair, bright brown eyes, hidden behind round glasses, and a square jaw.

What I said surprised me even more. I say yes.

Noah and I became fast friends. I could be myself around him. He is wise, kind, witty, knowledgeable. He had traveled the world. And he has 2 foster kids, Beth and Annie, 5 year old twins.

Each time I talked about sticking around, putting down roots, Noah let out a sad smile. He knew I couldn't stay. In mid-July he gets a package in the mail from his editor, cousin Karen James. It was a bunch of contracts. Things to sign. Noah sent her a group of my short stories and she must have been impressed. Noah set me down and talked me through the technology with me. He helped me understand, and like that I had a writing career.

The next day I walked into Noah's shop. I felt the pull to move on, and came to the painful decision that morning. Noah can see it in my eyes. "You have to go," he tells me. I nod, Denver was a great place to visit, but it is not my new home. I gave Noah a hug goodbye. He was like an older brother- never anything romantic between us. I learned so much from him it actually hurts to leave him.

I debated where to go next but the inner kid in me wouldn't let me ignore the destination of Disney World. At the earliest rest stop I set up my maps on a picnic table, marking the places I've been. In a good mood, I took out my iPod and play 'Better Than This' today I can so relate.

🎶
"My bags were packed from the day I was born
Knew there was something I was living for
I found my place in a runaway car
And I never looked back, never looked back

I never was much for falling in line
Had a long-time fire in this heart of mine
I may look crazy in momma's eyes but I don't mind

Could be a dead-end road
I could be chasing down a broken dream
But I don't even know
Just to where this thing is gonna lead
It's a mystery
Oh and ain't life a trip?
No, it don't get better than this
No, don't get better than this"
🎶

-----

It was a texting accident. I was t-boned at an intersection. My van was totaled, but lucky for me I went for safety in my vehicle choice, it probably saved my life. The girl in the other car wasn't so lucky. 16 and going too fast, she's in a coma on the ICU floor.

Before too long I am up and walking around. There are police forms, insurance issues; I just want to leave. The doctors, though, want me to stay a week for "observations," but once my cuts and scrapes are stitched up I am fine- not even a single bone has been broken.

On the fifth day I am "under observation" I wander out of my room. Before I can stop myself I am standing outside of a room holding a young, pretty girl in a comatose state, surrounded by several worried family members. I know it is her, and even though I know it wasn't my fault I still feel so responsible.

And, also I am a little jealous. Here is a girl who messed up big time and she is surrounded by people who care. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time: I could have died and no one would even miss me. I know there is inspiration here, but for once I let the moment go. This is one chapter in my life I can't wait to finish.