Unsuspecting Dreamer

Chapter 27 Wrong Placed Frustrations

"I can work for John if you want me to," I tell Kara. It's past 3 and John hasn't shown up.

"No, it's fine. Go home and get some rest."

I let my shoulders droop. Half of me wishes I could stay, keep surrounding myself with work. The other half is relieved; I am so tired.

At least Libby is coming back tomorrow. It's something to look forward to. Even though I've avoided all of her calls, I return in text, excusing myself, saying my voice isn't strong enough for a long conversation.

I walk out of Starbucks, sucking in a breath of frigid air. It's still not as cold as I am used to. People still look at me funny for only wearing a sweater or light cardigan.

"Hey," a voice calls behind me. I whirl around, unused to being snuck up on. Hunter's leaning against the side of the building, standing in the afternoon sun, hands in his pockets. He must have been waiting for me. "Feel like a burger?"

I give him a half-heated smile. He's been showing up almost every day, always making sure I eat. I still haven't said anything about Steve. He's probably figured it out by now.

"Sure."

We end up at a small burger and fries place. It's not busy at 4pm.

I'm slowly coming back to the real world. It's not as dark and hopeless as it seemed a few weeks ago.

"So, you're going to get Libby tomorrow?" I ask.

"Yeah, her flight gets in around 10 tomorrow night. Are you sure I can't convince you to come along?"

"No, you can't."

I know well enough to let Hunter and Libby have their moment. 3 weeks apart hurts- I know that now better than anyone.

"Besides, I've got a book to finish."

"Oh? Anything I get to read?"

I actually find a real smile. "It wouldn't hold your interest. Too long."

We finish eating and sit back, deep in conversation. Hunter seems just a touch more fidgety and jumpy than usual. I've learned to slowly work my way to whatever is bothering him, he's more willing to open up on his own terms. In this way Hunter and I are similar.

Finally, after he's off rambling about the arrangement for one of his new songs, he stops and takes a deep breath.

"Hey El, I... I was hoping you could help me with something. I... I need your opinion."

"Okay." He looks nervous, more so than he usually does in public.

Instead of answering, though, he shifts and pulls something out of his jacket pocket. He puts his hand on the table, palm down and slides something over to me. When he takes his hand away I take in a sharp intake of air.

A ring box!

"I'm gonna ask Libby to marry me. What do out think, will she like it?"

I am speechless. My thoughts are flying around my head. I can't process. "Tomorrow?"

"Naw, I'm gonna wait until just the right moment." He says, staring at his hands which he is twisting in a nervous and excited manner. "Go ahead, open it. What do you think?"

I gently take the box and open it. A princess cut diamond set in a silver band. It's breathtaking, classy and beautiful. It matches Libby perfectly.

"She'll love it!"

He looks relieved. He lets out a sigh.

"So, you're sure? It's been what... 9 months?" I can't help the question, I'm still trying to fit my mind around it.

"Yes, it just... I don't know... I guess it, it feels right." He gestures like he's trying to pull the words out of his mouth. His eyes are trained on the table. He runs his fingers along the sides of his head.

I can hear the sincerity in his voice. He means it, I am so happy for them. It cuts right through my remaining pain and heartbreak.

"So, how are you going to do it?"

"No, nope. You won't tell me about my character in your book, I won't tell you my plans." He grins.

"And you know that's not happening," I say. "I-" My words are cut short by the radio, playing softly over the restaurant's speakers:

🎶
"The first time I saw her
Her smile Drove me wild..."
🎶

'Oh no, I need to get out of here.' "Um, Hunter I've gotta get home. Now!" I jump up, hitting my knees on the table.

"Oh, okay."

If Hunter recognizes the song and that it is causing my spaz attack, he doesn't let on. He pays the bill and leads me to the door. By the time we reach my apartment I am barely holding it together.

'I am strong.'

Hunter insists on escorting me to my apartment, I have no doubt he hasn't missed my body shaking like a leaf. When we get to my apartment I can barely pull my keys out of my pocket.

"Hey, you okay?" Hunter's voice reaches through my music-induced traumatized state.

"Yeah," I say flatly, trying to fit my key in the lock but unable to see through the tears in my eyes. I'm thankful for my long hair, it covers my face as I look down.

"Hey." He puts his hand on my arm and turns me to face him. He looks me in the eyes. He sees my pain.

'I am not strong.' A sob escapes my throat.

Without a word he pulls me into a hug and I hold onto him for dear life, tears now freely streaming down my face.

"Steve's gone," I say into his shoulder. "I'm worthless. He left me because I'm pathetic. Because I'm not good enough."

He pulls me away, clutching my shoulders and staring directly into my eyes. "Steve's a jerk to let you go. You are not worthless, you are amazing."

I draw in a short breath, it catches on a sob. "Okay," I mumble. Hoping my agreement will make him leave quicker.

"No, say; I am amazing."

I shake my head and stare at the floor. "Don't tell Libby." I implore.

"You didn't tell her?" His voice rises with surprise.

"No, it's my own business." I am miffed that he thinks I need to talk to Libby about everything.

"El, if you need to talk about this..."

"No, I don't, just leave me alone! I don't need to talk, especially to you!" With a swift turn I twist my key into the lock and open the door.

"El!" Hunter calls after me.

But I've already slammed the door. I lean against it and take in ragged breathes. 'Where did that come from?' I slide down until my head rests on my knees. And I cry. How could I be so mean to one of my best friends? How am I supposed to ever take it back.

I stumble to stand and pad to the living room. I grab my final draft of my book and sit in the hard chair at my desk. Someone's getting a happy ending. Might as well be Hunter and Libby in the book as well as in real life. It's the perfect ending to the story.

And maybe in a small way, this will make up for the rottenness I feel radiating from my core.