Unsuspecting Dreamer

Chapter 33 Rethinking Things

The campfire glows in the dark, the beach is deserted. Hunter sits on the ground, leaning against the log that I am sitting on, tuning a guitar.

I tie my hair back so it doesn't hang in my face, it dried all tangled and wild. I pull the crumpled letter from my father out of my backpack. I look at it one last time and then throw it into the flames. I watch my father's last words to my mother burn. It was never meant for my eyes, I'm letting him go for good. It feels right, I feel lighter.

Hunter starts playing, running through cords, fingers dancing over the strings. I sneak a peek at him, he's completely focused.

After his confession, and my revelation, things calmed down. We spent a couple of hours walking around just talking. I'm still trying to figure out how I really do feel about Hunter.

The manner of his playing changes, he starts in on a song that I recognize:

🎶
"If it's just me,
I think we need to talk about some things
If it's just me,
Then tell me what you want, say anything
If it's just me,
I'll hang up now and call you back when I've had time to think"
🎶

He's singing in a different way than I've ever heard him before. There's emotion in his voice, there is a reason he picked this song. I hold my breath and try to listen to his emotions through the lyrics, like I've learned to do. He's always telling me things in his music.

🎶
"If it's just me,
Crying alone in the middle of the night
Then it's just me,
And my tendency to over analyze
And if it's just me,
Holding on to someone letting go,
Then I will let go of you"
🎶

I wonder if he can hear the raw emotion in his voice. 'Please Hunter, what are you trying to tell me? Are you letting me go?' The thought strikes me and my heart skips a beat. 'But why?'

🎶
"I'll take the blame, take the shame, walk away, no questions asked
Leave the best of me with you and you can leave me in your past
No battle cry, no battle scars
We're only down one broken heart
I guess you're free, if it's just me"
🎶

'He's singing to me.' The realization hits me like lightning. But he's not telling me it's okay that I can't think of him of more than just friends. He's asking me, through song, to reconsider how I feel. I got it! I understand!

🎶
"If it's just me,
One shadow on the wall on a coffee cup
Then it's just me,
And a picture hanging I can't let go of
And if it was just me,
Why didn't I know you needed me to keep my big mouth shut?
Yeah, cause when it come down to it, you know"
🎶

I think back to the first time I met Hunter in the Diner, I remember how he took care of me when Steve broke my heart, I smile at the memory when he grabbed my hair and I ended up wrapped in his arms. Hunter cares about me, I've never doubted that for a second.

🎶
"I'll take the blame, take the shame, walk away, no questions asked
Leave the best of me with you and you can leave me in your past
No battle cry, no battle scars
We're only down one broken heart
I guess you're free, if it's just me"

'What am I doing?' I ask myself for the second time. Hunter is my best friend, he'd never hurt me. He's always there for me. And I want to always be there for him, I think I might love him.

🎶
"I've got no problem holding on
I've got no problem being wrong
But if you're gone, then after all
Well, it's just me

I'll take a walk, clear my thoughts, move along, no questions asked
Take whatever's left of me and leave you in my past

No more crying, no more scars,
I'd love to stay, but I got to say
I'd rather be free, if its-if it's just me, oh

If it's just me, it's just me
If it's just me
Then it's just me"
🎶

I shift down on the log so I am sitting almost directly over him. And I say the bravest four words that I have ever said; "It's not just you."

He looks up at me, firelight flickering across his face, when he turns toward me I can't see his face, his features are cast into shadow.

Before I have a chance to repeat myself, thinking he didn't hear me, he's jumped to his feet and he pulls me from my perch on the log.

He hefts me off the ground, and I wrap my arms around his neck. We're both laughing. He spins me around and around. He stops and tilts his head back to look at me.

"You're amazing, you know that, right?"

Then he's kissing me again, still holding me up off of the ground. Again, I shiver as that electrical surge runs through me again as I cling to his body. His strong arms keeping me in the air.

When we break apart Hunter sets me down but my knees feel weak and I feel lightheaded. I can't think of a happier moment in my life up to this point.

His arms are wrapped around my waist, and he touches his forehead to mine. We just stand there with our eyes closed, listening to the crickets chirping, the surf roll in, to each other breathing.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted this to happen." He says in a low voice.

I pull back in surprise. "Just how long?"

"I'll tell you later."

Hunter breaks our embrace and kicks sand over the fire, extinguishing it. "We should get going, we've got a long way back."

"Okay." I shrug on my backpack as he puts his guitar back in it's case. He throws his arm around me as we walk back to the car.

"I'll drive," I offer, holding out my hand, but I know what the response will be.

"I don't think so."

I nod, that's what I thought. But I really don' t mind.

He opens the door for me, just like he always has. But there is an extra added sweetness in the gesture.

We start to drive and I settle in for the long, dark drive. Hunter turns on the radio and starts humming along with the songs.

I must start to doze because the next thing I know I am jolted awake by a familiar voice, and it's not Hunter's.

Steve's singing on the radio. A new song, I recognize the tune from listening to it in the studio. It sounds different through the car's speakers.

"I can change it," Hunter offers, recognizing the artist a couple seconds after I do. His hand reaches for the tuning dial.

"No, leave it. It's fine." I tell him, settling back into my seat. Steve has no power over me anymore.

I reach out and take Hunter's hand as he pulls it back from the stereo. He laces his fingers with mine and holds on, keeping his eyes trained on the road.

I lean back and let my eyes grow heavy. I wait, though, for Steve's song to end. Then, I fall asleep to Hunter's soft, soothing voice as he hums along.