Unsuspecting Dreamer

Chapter 25 An Unexpected Turn

This is all Hunter's fault. I wouldn't be doing this if he hadn't talked me into it. I drive on as the sky darkens into evening around me. Then I grin, yes this is all Hunter's fault.

After 2 days of moping around, spam-texting Hunter, he finally responded with, "Just go to his show already."

Steve's playing in Tennessee, just a few hours away. So here I am, driving to his show, the day's light fading around me. I am so excited, it is actually making me feel lightheaded. I hope Steve likes the surprise. Only 30 minutes to go, I can barely contain my excitement.

-----

This is a smaller venue; I notice that the second I walk through the doors.

I begin to wander around, not really sure what to do; I haven't thought this far ahead. I'm just lucky I was able to get a hold of a ticket. I have Hunter to thank for that too.

Finally, I decide to hang out near the stage, wondering how to get to the back of the stage, behind the curtains and walls, how to get to see Steve. I spy Joshua standing off to the side of the stage.

"Josh!" I yell and wave, catching his attention.

"Hey!" He waves back. I point to the door on the far side of the building and he nods, understanding. Then he disappears.

I maneuver over to the side door, which has no handle on the outside. I wait a minute and Josh opens the door a little, and I slip through.

"Hey." He greets me. "What are you doing here?"

"Just wanted to surprise Steve."

"Cool!" He leads me back through security. "Listen, I've got stuff to do but just walk down that hallway and the second door on the left is him. You can't miss it, his name's on the outside."

"Thanks; I won't be bothering him?" I ask, a moment of uncertainty jumps in my mind.

"Naw, he's just in for touch up." He waves. "See ya later."

"Bye." I watch Josh retreat until he turns the corner before I walk down the hallway. I pivot on my heel at the second door on the left, his name is taped on the door so I know I'm in the right spot. I raise my hand to knock when I hear a laugh. I drop my hand, head swiveling from left to right. No one else is in the hall. While my head is turned I hear another laugh. It's a girl's laugh.

The hairs on the back of my neck and arms raise. 'What in the world?' Against my better judgment, I edge the door open a few inches, only enough to let one eye in. But it's enough.

I gasp in shock. Steve is leaning up against the mirrored makeup table, kissing a tiny, skinny brunette who is sitting on the table.

I freeze. My mind isn't working, then it's going in a million directions at once. 'I need to get out of here.' The thought screams louder than the rest. I reel back, slamming the door unintentionally. I start off, sprinting down the hall.

"Ellie?!" I hear a muffled shout, then a door slamming.

'No, he can't see me. I don't want to see him.' I run blindly, ears ringing. I barely hear the sound two pairs of shoes make against the hard, stone floor.

"Ellie!" His voice is right in my ear. A strong hand grabs my right arm and pulled to a stop. "Ellie wait, this isn't what it looks like."

"I think it's exactly what it looks like." I am amazed at how calm I sound. Even though my whole body is trembling. I can't make myself look at him, I stare at where his hand clutches my elbow with a firm hold.

"No, she... she's just an old friend. She just stopped by for a visit."

"I'm done." I take a breath in, I am fighting to remain clear headed. Not to let him see me cry. "You knew how I felt about you. I would never do this to you!" I find my anger and my eyes flash up to his face, I need him to see that he hurt me and I'm not going to be so quick to forgive.

Steve sees I am not buying his story, his face grows hard. "Well yeah, because you've never dated anyone before. No interest, no worry."

The insult stings. He knows everything about my social life. He is half of my social life. I think of my father's painful remarks. And suddenly I am right on the edge of falling apart completely.

"No more, just leave me alone!" I scream, turning on my heel.

"No!" He grabs my arm tighter as I try to shake loose, his fingers digging his fingers into my skin, "you are overreacting."

"Maybe I am. I'm just so 'inexperienced,' though. But you crossed a line and we are finished! Goodbye Steve."

With that I twist free of his grasp and storm off down the hall. He doesn't try to stop me again.

As I reach the parking lot the tears start. They run down my face, freezing cold against the January air. My hands are shaking so hard, I can barely unlock my van to start it. I might be emotionally compromised but I am driving home.

'Thanks Hunter,' I think, 'all your fault.' But I regret the thought the second it pops into my head. He didn't know. He wouldn't have let me be hurt like this, to let me find out this way. I am so embarrassed. What did I do wrong? Why would he do this to me? What is wrong with me?

An hour later I need to escape from my own thoughts. I have taken a very self-destructive turn. I flick on the radio and speed into the dark night. My stomach keeps knotting and re knotting, my eyes expelling moisture like it's never going to stop. I look at the clock; only 2 more hours. Home. Home is safe.

I hear a slight rumble and I wonder if it's thunder, I really don't want to be driving in a storm tonight. I change stations to find a weather report. My fingers automatically stop when a familiar voice fills my speakers:

🎶
"Love wasn't what I was lookin' for, but that's what I found

My heart's been stolen
I'm long gone
The day's we're together
Small moments never feel wrong
She can get me through every storm
And heading for perfect weather

Her and me together makes for perfect weather"
🎶

I am stuck. Steve. His voice. Our song. I can't hold back anymore; I pull over. I turn the car off. Then I scream. I scream until I'm hoarse. I beat my fists against the steering column. I cry until my eyes are swollen shut and my head feels like it's going to explode. It doesn't storm outside of my van but within it is thrown into chaos and turmoil.

'Why did I trust him. Why?'

"Why?" I ask out loud, burring my head in my folded arms, sobbing into the steering wheel for what feels like an eternity.

3 hours later I stumble into my dark and lonely apartment. I ignore the twinge in my stomach begging for food. I am vaguely aware that I haven't eaten in almost 18 hours. Instead I crawl straight into bed. I pull the covers up over my head and block out the world. My body as cold and heavy as lead.