for his pleasure // jinkook

i like seokjin

Author's pov~

"no hyung, you should've seen how-how sad he looked. how he held onto me and cried while i took him to ou-his bedroom. i don't know why it hurt so bad."

"Jungkook, did you feel bad after you hurt him?" Yoongi asked him patiently

"yes! i wanted to slap myself at that point. i- dont want to feel this again hyung. i know how it ends."

"why? he can be a better person unlike him." Namjoon reasoned

"yes but i still couldn't explain the blood. i know that smell though."

"Jungkook running away from your feelings is no way of handling a situation. pardon me but you've been with a fair share of men physically but did you feel something different with Seokjin? did you feel any sort of spark?" Yoongi questioned

YES. Jungkook wanted to shout

yes he makes me feel so many things. i like touching seokjin, i like kissing seokjin, i like smelling seokjin, i like smiling at seokjin, i like playing with his hair, i like the feeling of our skin against each other, i like his soft hands touching me, i like the soft sounds he would make when i touch him, i like to hold seokjin close, i like whispering to seokjin, i like seokjin's exhausted state after i've made love to him. i like seokjin.

he wanted to say all of it but he stared at his iced drink and then at his hyung, "no, i don't feel anything different."

Yoongi sighed, sharing a look with Namjoon.

"Jungkook. stop running away from everything you can't control, learn to face it-"

"hyung I'm no coward."

"yes you are, and no you're not scared of guns, of blood or knives but you're scared of love."

"are we done here? i should get home."

"like you weren't hoeing around-"

"hyung-"

"what? it isn't like I'm making this shit up. you have a husband Jungkook and whatever you don't feel w him, you should at least have the fucking decency to leave him before screwing another whore. from what we've heard, he's hurt Jungkook. he's fragile. please don't break him any further." Yoongi pleaded, getting up from his seat, pouring himself another drink.

Jungkook felt a pang in his heart. 

he felt every word Yoongi said. he felt for seokjin.

"hyung, i didn't want to hoe around i swear. i just wanted to get rid of this feeling-"

"Jungkook, give your marriage another chance. give seokjin another chance. give yourself another chance." Yoongi held the younger's balled fist tenderly.

Jungkook's teary orbs met his hyung's as he smiled.

he had to go back to his seokjin.

___

Jin was standing on the edge of the terrace, ready to end it all.

he couldn't do it any longer. he wanted to be free.

he couldn't do it sober, he had a whole bottle of some strong vodka he didn't remember the name of. 

all of this will be over once i jump. he thought.

he wiped his tears off his face and with a last, 

"i love you Jungkook." he let go.

what he hadn't expected was some random force holding onto him preventing him from jumping.

he looked through his watery vision, it wasn't a face he could recognize.

"you don't have to die sweetheart, i'll take you away." he said with a smirk plastered on his face before pulling seokjin up on the other side.

___

hey guys, really sorry had to take a small break for my uni shit. im back and here's a chapter you've been waiting for i guess?

i'll try to be regular from now on uwu

love, namjooni_e.