Bloodborne: First Blood {1}

Chapter 𝟞𝟙 - In My Arms

I couldn't tell you how long I was standing at the doorway with Bucky, he didn't even move an inch.

I still could hardly beileve that he was physically in front of me, even more so that he remembered who I was even if it was just a little. I just stood there with my mouth wide open until Bucky brought me back to focus. I guess some things never change.

"Is something wrong?" He asked. His face showed more exhaustion than emotion.

I finally snapped out of it, seeing how drained he looked. "No-No, I'm alright Bucky come inside."

He wouldn't have come in unless I told him to. It was like he was afraid of hurting me, little did he know I was afraid of doing the same thing. It was because of that I knew that our friendship was still there, we were still going to be as careful with each other as ever as we always did.

I led him to sit down while I went to get a glass of water, I set the full glass down in front of Bucky and he just stared at it without a word. Naturally, I was concerned, I didn't know what he was thinking but I had a feeling that if anyone could help him it would be me and Steve. Steve wasn't avaible at the time so that duty fell on me.

"You aren't thirsty?" He shook his head no. "Hungry?"

"No." His voice was gruff, he didn't even look my way.

I sighed deeply and sat next to him on the couch. There was no doubt in my mind, he was thinking about what happened. Steve being in the hospital, me falling off the aircraft. Guilt was ridden in his face, I hated seeing him like that.

And I hated it even more that HYDRA forced him to do this, that he suffered in silence all these years while I was able to somewhat enjoy my time. It made me sick to my stomach.

I wasn't sure if I should just outright ask him what they did to him or ease into it. I didn't want him more uncomfortable than he already was. Then, I got an idea.

He didn't need to talk about it at all.

"Bucky."

"Hm?"

I slowly moved my hand to his, when he didn't flinch I gently placed it ontop of his. He looked between my face and my hand on his, and his jaw tightened.

"I don't want to do anything you don't want to do but, if you don't want to talk about what happend to you I can see it myself. It's going to sting a little-"

"Do it."

"Really? Bucky I don't wanna-"

"It can't feel any worse than what they did to me." His body was stiff as he prepared himself. That only made me feel worse, he was so used to the hurt.

What did they do to him?

"I will be as gentle as I can." I slowly lifted my hands to the side of his head but suddenly, Bucky used his metal arm to stop me. That was what I feared. "Bucky, we don't have to do this if you're not comfortable."

He quickly retracted his arm and looked very apologetic. "I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to."

"Don't apologize, it's alright Buck. You sure you want to go through with this?"

"Yes, do it."

Now it was my turn to hesitate, I didn't like that reaction at all but, waiting would only make him more nervous. I placed my hands on the sides of his head, feeling a bit of static shock, and closed my eyes. His memories flashed through my head like they were my own.

His memories and thoughts were like halfway done puzzles. I saw him having weapons being pointed at him, him waking up from his fall for the first time, I felt as he felt in those times, angry, scared, and confused. I saw how they brainwashed and tourtured him, how they had made him into their perfect killer. Now, I really thought I was going to be sick.