Dawn ; Remus Lupin

⋆ THIRTY ⋆

Tears of Trauma

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AURORA WOKE UP WITH A START, the night just after they arrived at Hogwarts. Cold sweats, and teary eyes. She sat on her bed, clutching her blanket around her, shaking.

She panted for breath, her heart seemingly and endlessly needing oxygen. She inhale then exhale, then does it again, and again, and again. But the way her heart continued to expand then contracts was driving her to the edge of hyperventilating.

Aurora couldn't comprehend it all in. She wasn't thrashing when she awoke from that nightmare nor did she scratched her ears like she's done last time, and neither did she scream enough to awaken her other dorm mates. No.

She gasp as if she came above the waters that almost drowned her. And her heart felt as if it's not pounding enough blood for her to breath.

Aurora looks around the dormitory. Everyone was still asleep. She doesn't know whether to be glad that she hadn't been much of a bother to them, or sad that no one would be able to embrace her in comfort.

She tries to still her shaking hands but it just won't stop. Her feet feels cold and frozen and she felt her body go numb.

Aurora was immediately sent into a state of panic as she pinch herself, desperate to feel something.

And so, with every ounce left of her strength, she rushes to the bathroom and slip inside the shower. With her night gown on, she turned on the faucet and bathed in the coldness of the water.

This made her relieved, because she can finally feel how her body reacted to the cold.

The effects of her nightmare don't usually comes to the point where she had to hurt herself, in order to just feel something.

A few couple weeks after the attack, back in her third year, was the worse. That time, her mind was yet to mature and she suffered panic attacks as such a young age. She was vulnerable and didn't knew how to cope with trauma.

A lot of times, she'd scratch herself till bleeding.

But now, it seems she's recently falling back in her patterns.

Why? Why is this happening again?

I hate this.

Aurora got out the shower and out the bathroom, drench in cold water. The breeze hits her cold body and she shivers. She walks out the dorm and down the common room bare feet, leaving small puddles of water on her trail.

Her hair sticks to her neck, her white night gown clutched on her skin. Even with her tan, she looks even paler.

Aurora walks out through the common room portrait and into the hallways, leaving the portrait open behind her.

It's 1 o'clock in the morning, and she was walking alone on the Hogwarts corridor. Looking emotionless, shaken, and nightmare-driven.

The Astronomy Tower has never felt so comfortable as it is now.

Aurora stood, hands on the railings, and looking at the midnight view from up the tower. The stars, the fluttering trees, the scattered specks of sparkling dots.

It looks so... enchanting.

Aurora's platinum blonde hair moves with the wind's direction, drying its wet state. With the air from up here, it feels easier for her to breathe.