positions (Ariana Grande/You)

9. flying

"Gravity is matter's response to loneliness." - (By someone) Alice Wu (had forgotten)

The way Ariana mentioned her concert weeks ago, vaguely and casually, made you think it was a relatively small event. This assumption was further solidified when Ariana found an easy solution to her PR manager's concerns, by suggesting that you bring Olivia along. This way, attention would be diverted away from your relationship with Ariana.

So imagine your shock when you found yourself in one of the studio rooms in Staples Center, watching Ariana run through her choreography.

"I can't believe BTS was sitting beside us just five minutes ago," Olivia exclaimed. "Even I can't get access to this kind of experience that easily. These backstage passes are the best."

You looked down at the pass Ariana had placed around your neck after the security checks. "Technically, they are staff passes."

Olivia leaned towards you and half-whispered conspiratorially, "Even better, imagine all the restricted places we can go that a fan can't. Maybe I'll catch a glimpse of them again."

"Well, knock yourself out. Bring back any goodies or souvenirs you find."

"Don't I always? Be right back." After a quick hug, Olivia left with gleeful steps.

If you were the person before, you would entertain her idea. Hell, you would probably have come up with it, sneaking around with her to check out the place and people around. However, now at the moment, you were content watching Ariana dance.

Even with a flurry of female dancers surrounding her, your eyes seemed to fixate solely on Ariana. You observed the way she moved, and how her dancers shifted along with her. At a particular moment, one of them corrected the placements of her thighs.

The slightest strain of irk shot through you, immediately shifting into alarm. You shouldn't have felt this way every time the dancers came into contact with her.

You were pulled out of your thoughts when a shadow was cast over you. Looking up, you found Ariana staring at you inquisitively. You looked away in embarrassment, not wanting your face to give away anything.

"What's wrong?"

There was a "nothing" sitting on the tip of your tongue, but you hate lying, especially to her. You let out a sigh, "I just found out that I don't like it when someone else touches you and I'm not." Ariana's eyebrow shot up, mouth opening to say something, but you stopped her before she could. "I know, I have no right to feel this way, much less at people who are just doing their jobs."

The look on her face transformed into a pensive one. You sat there like a kid caught doing something they weren't supposed to do, waiting fearfully for the consequences. With your eyes downcast, you did not notice Ariana moving closer until her hands came into view to cup your cheeks.

With the way she leaned in closer, you thought she was going to sit on your lap. However, she stopped at bringing her face to yours. In such close proximity, you couldn't duck your head to hide it even if you wanted to. "It's okay to feel that way, as long as you don't act upon them." She said diplomatically, reminding you of your therapist. Moving towards your ear, she continued, "But you don't have to be jealous. I only want your touch." Her lips grazed the shell of your ear, "and you can do so, however much you want, tonight."

She turned around before you could react, walked back to where the dancers were and went back to formation again. You spent the time looking away whenever Ariana shot a wink over.

After an hour, someone informed Ariana to prepare for the upcoming full dress rehearsal. Everyone got ready to make their way to the stage. All you did was carry Toulouse while you followed around Ariana cluelessly.