"Even when a star dies, it gives birth to another one. It's mere existence is life and growth. One day I wish to be as infinite as the stars. To exist forever, if at least in their hearts."
When you left, you were not looking for a savior.
When he...
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"What did you do?!"
Jimin winces at the shout that blares in his ear and pulls his phone away from where it was resting delicately on his cheek.
"I don't have time for this Yen." He sighs as he steps out of the car, the house before him looming like a bad dream.
"No, don't you dare hang up on me, Park Jimin. Don't you even think for one second you have room to do that right now."
Jimin can almost feel it as her voice trembles through the phone, and something about it, the way it seems as though the very fiber in her soul will break, makes Jimin stop. In a way, he knows that he wants to hang up because he knows what Yen will say, and he doesn't want to hear it. He can't stand to hear it because if he does then that would mean this is all the two of them would ever be. That this was all they were meant to be from the first time he ever laid eyes on Jocelynn.
"You need to fix this, I don't care how, but you need to set things right now."
And he can't stand that thought.
That all he was meant to do was hurt her.
"I know."
"Do you?" And Jimin knows her feeling, the feeling of fear. Maybe not to the same extent, maybe not even to the same understanding, but he knows.
And he knows why she is so afraid.
"You forget that she's not like you, she doesn't have the protection you have or the influence. She's in more danger than any of us now."
Jimin swallows hard at her insinuation, and he doesn't have to tell her for Yen to know that he already knew this danger was looming. Hanging over their heads like an incessant reaper meant only to cause fear and death wherever they may wander.
If she meant to make him feel guilty, she didn't need to try as hard. After all, a part of him has always felt guilty ever since he first met Jocelynn. After all, he did almost run her over, so it wasn't exactly a clean relationship from the start. It was confusing, messy, and unclear. But he couldn't let go of her, no matter how many times she tried to push him away, how many times he was warned of the consequences. He tried to stay away, he tried to listen to reason, but he couldn't. And that's what makes him feel worse about it all.
"I trusted you to protect her. Don't make me regret it."
The fact that this is all his fault.
And when Yen hangs up, that is the very reason why he finds it so hard to move forward. To knock on that door, and say goodbye to her forever.
He knew what he had to do to protect her, he knew the risks and he knew what position he was putting her in. He knew this was bound to happen sooner or later, and he knows it was all his fault.
