What is Love

Chapter 2:

Tara in MM.

*********

Tara

I woke up with Dez laying next to me. Just like his sneaky ass to stay until I fall asleep to climb into bed with me.

I stared at his sleeping frame. Thinking back on the old days and why they still couldn't be like that.

Me and Dez had a solid four years on our back, but that all switched up when he decided to go out of state to college. That's when the cheating begin. Then our relationship became on and off for the next two years until I was over it, unfortunately not completely.

"What Tara? Damn." He groaned as I pushed on his arm to wake him up.

"What are you doing here? I told your ass to go home." I said.

"And I told your ass I was staying with my family. You lucky I was being respectful and didn't wake you up with my dick in you."

"Boy get ya ass up and get out."

"No." He said wrapping his arm around my waist holding me down as I tried to get up.

"Ouch you play too fuckin much." I shouted rubbing my now sore nipple he bit.

"Let daddy rub it for you." He said, but I smacked his hand away as he chuckled.

"Annoying." I mumbled.

"Start wearing a bra and I'll leave ya nipples alone."

"Nope. They're small, perky, and love to be braless." I said pushing his hands away once again.

"I guess." He yawned leaning back throwing his arm over his eyes.

"Daddy you're still here!" Zain shouted running into the room jumping on to the bed.

"Yup. I'm still here."

"I wanna see Micah and Shae today." He said referring to his cousins.

"You just seen them yesterday." Dez said.

"So?" Zain said.

"Don't so me nigga." He said pushing him down on the bed from his sitting position making him laugh.

"Nah, they should be back by now. They were catching an early flight." He said grabbing his phone to check the time.

"You want banana bread?" I ask Zain.

"Ooh yup!" He cheered getting up following me.

"That's my bread!" Dez said following us scooping up Zain.

"Nope." Zain said.

"Yup."

"Nope."

"Yup."

"Mommy tell daddy, nope!"

"I'll beat you and ya mommy up."

"Yeah right we swoop you." Zain said all in his face trying to look mad making us laugh.

"Boy a damn mess." I said while cutting everybody some bread.

*

"Hey girly." Nya said hugging me as I came out to the back yard where the kids were running around. Zain wasted no time joining them.

I agreed to come over here with Dez because I wanted to see Nya and the kids. Even tho I see them on a regular already.

"You need us to fuck Dez up let us know." Rock said as him and Shaun came out the backdoor with beers.

"Well fuck him up then." I said pointing to him as he came out the backdoor did a double take and went back into the house.

"He plays too much." Nya said laughing. "I like ya hair like this."

"Thank you. I gotta wear it down more often because my quick ponytails and buns don't help my age with this baby face."

"It really doesn't. You be looking 17 at the least."

"Man and the most annoying thing ever is when people think Zain is my lil brother. We'll be somewhere and people will be like awh your little brother is so cute. I'm like this is my son with a straight ass face. Some people even have the nerve to ask am I sure. Like duh, the fuck. I went through all that labor pain pushing him out my vagina. Trust me, that's my son."

"Girl!" Nya laughed. "It's not funny because I can imagine you. I would cuss somebody out questioning me."

"One old lady even had the nerve to say oh you poor baby were you taken advantage of or were you just a fast ass? I nicely cussed her old ass out."

"Old people say whatever." Nya said laughing.

"They really do. That pissed me off."

"That's what's up, that's everything to be able to say you the only nigga to be in ya girl since yall first got together, but nah not everybody knows how to hold that down." Dez said loudly from where he sat with the guys trying to throw shade at me.

"Hold what the fuck down? I actually had another boyfriend not just some random fuck. You're the one that cheated constantly, not me. Never me."

"I wasn't talking to you tho."

"Ooh see I swear I can't stand his ass." I said trying to keep myself from slapping him like I wanted to.

"Ignore his ass. Come on and help me get dinner ready." Nya said standing pulling me up.

"I love you anyways Tara." He yelled out. I stuck my middle finger up at him. "Later babymama, I gotchu."

His job is to work my damn nerves, swear.

*

"Oh so he was with some punk ass mommy's boy?" Nya asks as I tell her about Austin.

We are both in her kitchen cooking. Well me making the desert of course.

"Girl that was not no momma's boy in the bedroom." I laughed at the face she gave me.

"Girl I'ma beat you. You didn't have sex with Dez while with him right?"

"No, never. Me and Dez officially broke up the beginning of his Sophomore year of college. Didn't start having sex with him again until his Senior year. A year after our breakup I actually gave a dude a chance and it was Austin. We were together for like six months. Didn't have sex until like four months in."

"Well why'd yall breakup?"

"Do you really have to ask that?" I ask giving her a look.

"He was really a sweetheart who's looking for love he realized that a part of my heart is still with Dez and he told me if that's what you wanna do, where you wanna be, I'ma let you. He went to his mom first about it and she told him to let me go even tho he didn't really want to. I respect his mom for that tho because I would have hated myself if I would have broke his heart. I'm still cool with his mom to this day and he's still my friend we just don't talk on a daily basis like before."

"So what's up with you and Dez?"

I shrugged. "Something as always. Even tho I want it to be everything or nothing."

"So you still love Dez?"

"Yes." I said with no hesitation.

"Then how come you don't tell him you love him back?"

I shrugged, "There's no point. We've been here before. I did that already. I did the believing every word he said just to get my heart crushed even more each time. Dezmin does not know what love is. He can tell me he loves me all day everyday, but I will never believe his words again. Until he actually proves them that is."

"Dez loves you." She says.

"No. No, he doesn't."

.....