18. Ready or Not

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Reality is absolutely awful. Been there for the past few months - I'm going back to fantasy

Camila's real reblog on Tumblr

I could be your fantasy

Lauren's real caption on Instagram


Camila's POV

The following two months passed torturously for me. I wasn't at my best, but I tried to look happy before the cameras. Most of the time I failed. I felt like I was three years ago, back when I was in Fifth Harmony and found it hard to laugh even to fake it. It was funny that the reason back then and in the present was both Lauren. Being on a world tour helped to keep my mind away from our last conversation, that only broke my heart.

Since she made it clear to me that she didn't want me in her life and that she was perfectly fine without me, I met her four times. They could be even more, but I avoided her. It was too hard for me to have her around while being so cold and distant. Despite she didn't want me to be in her life she made sure to join Taylor's squad. Everyone liked her and she hung out with my friends more than I did. For two months I had been switching countries and the only four times I managed to meet my friends, Lauren was already there or came later. The first time I left almost immediately, but I stayed the rest because my friends suspected something was off since my face betrayed my feelings.

Lauren all these four times we met, she never addressed me personally. She never participated in a conversation when I did and rarely looked at me. She usually said a formal "Hello" to everyone or a simple "Goodnight" when she left. Not a single time she asked if I was okay even typically like she asked Taylor or Selena all the time. Only once she was forced to speak to me and that was because it was impossible not to. We were at Selena's place and my car blocked her Hummer SUV and asked me if I could move my car. It was a melody to my ears listening to her addressing me after entirely two months. That tragic I was.

Every time I was going to meet Taylor and her squad I shivered. I was afraid that Selena would announce to me that she finally made out with Lauren. That they were crazily in love with each other. I wasn't sure if I could take it to see my best friend in Lauren's arms. It had been four months since Lauren and Selena hung out since I started my world tour. I wondered how Lauren still hadn't fucked her. 'Why does she keep her? I don't think she cares about her because she's my best friend. She doesn't give a shit about me.' It was a matter of time in my mind for them to get together. Selena had made it to get close to Lauren and earn her trust. And I had to accept that I had lost her once and for all.

It crossed my mind multiple times to talk to her. But how could I when she didn't even look at me. I needed to tell her I knew about Lucy, but I was scared of her reaction. Because I was the one that did her wrong. My heart clenched at the thought that she would tell me sarcastically to get over it since so many years passed since then. She had moved on while I was more confused than ever.

Thankfully, it was the last week of my world tour and then I would take Will and organise a trip, away from everyone and everything. The relationship with my fiancé wasn't at its best, but William blamed the separation for four months, due to my concerts. He claimed we had been through that again in the past and when I'd go back we would return to our normality. And that was what I wanted. Find the peaceful routine that I used to have before Lauren return to my life again. It was February and in five months I'd marry that man. My whole life would change when I'd exchange vows of eternal love with Will.

"A beautiful face such as yours shouldn't be thinking so much." Ruby's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. She took a seat beside me at the same time, on the couch and wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

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