𝘖𝘣𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘏𝘰𝘯𝘰𝘳 | JJK |

1

The smell of raw flesh stung her nose. The feel of dust hanging in the air. The sound of metal clanging. The sizzle of something burning. 

White hot pain.

"I will give you all of my love."

Ahn Heiran's eyes flew open as a violent shiver traveled down her body. Her vision swam in and out of focus as her brain struggled to grasp reality. Strange. She had thought the nightmares had stopped. Still, on occasional nights, they came for a visit as if to remind her of their presence lurking deep inside her subconscious.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Her psychiatrist had diagnosed her. It made her scoff.

Heiran did not consider herself to be weak. She had a fairly strong mentality with resistance to blood and gore, thanks to the numerous criminal cases she had taken on. Yet, her therapist had insisted that she indeed did have trauma.

"Ones who appear strong on the outside are often the ones who don't realize how hurt they are on the inside," her psychiatrist had explained.

The scars on her wrist faintly tingled as if triggered by the memory. It had been more than six months since the incident had died down. She had enough time to get over it. However, they stayed, promising her a lifelong companionship.

The television kept playing some drama series in muted volumes, the blue light of it casting eerie shadows all over the dark room. Heiran rubbed her eyes and propped herself up. The blanket covering her slipped and fell to the floor. A second blanket was at her side, balled into a chaotic mess, and its owner absent from its place. Whispers of a hushed conversation reached her ears. She looked over her shoulder at the man who stood by the window, making quiet responses to someone over the phone.

Jungkook had an unusual expression of seriousness. Something about it unnerved her. She briefly glanced at the clock; it was two in the morning. She wondered who it was on the phone and what they were talking about, but his whispers were quiet. Too quiet.

"Jungkook?" she called softly.

Jungkook paused his conversation and turned his gaze to the sofa where she sat. With a nod to her, he cut the exchange short and ended the call.

"Thanks, I will call you back."

Noting the frown on her face, he questioned. "Sorry. Did I wake you?"

She shook her head, "No."

But her frown remained, eyes fixed on him as he made his way back to the sofa. Jungkook saw her look but offered no explanations. She breathed a sigh, "I'm sorry I fell asleep for the movie night. I was a bit drained."

"Don't apologize for being tired, Ran." His reply was comforting, but his gaze was clouded as if he had a lot on his mind. Strange.

Jungkook felt oddly distant. It had been that way for a while. All the fervor of a reunited high school relationship hadn't lasted long. It gradually dimmed and faded with time. In the past two months, it was completely lost. Heiran felt that now their relationship was a house of cards, waiting for a mere gust of wind to come to knock it all down.

Now that he was close, Heiran found herself staring into his face, trying to discern what was hidden behind his tired gaze. She took note of the dark circles that bloomed beneath his eyes as if his nights were spent in restless, short-lived dozes. His cheeks were sunken as if he wasn't eating properly. The length of his hair spoke of numerous postponed hair salon appointments. Heiran's frown deepened. Although Jungkook saw her look, he made no effort to respond. He simply stared back. Then in a half-hearted attempt to pretend that everything was fine, he opened his arms invitingly and beckoned her forward with a smile that did not reach his eyes.