𝘖𝘣𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘏𝘰𝘯𝘰𝘳 | JJK |

17 pt. 1

Present day.

"Let's talk about your over-dependence on this Cha Dohyeok character, shall we?"

Heiran took a double-take in shock at Angela who twirled a pen in between her fingers. "I— I am not overly dependent on him."

"You are not?" Angela tilted her head curiously, "Why do you feel guilty then?"

Heiran wondered if the answer wasn't obvious. She was a bad friend. She always sought him out when she needed something but she couldn't do anything for him in return. It felt wrong to be indebted to him this way, but there was no way Heiran could pay off a life debt. "I just feel like I'm taking advantage of him. He's just there for me all the time. Even in the middle of the night, if I send him a text, he'll reply within minutes. He's just that nice. I feel bad that I can't—" She paused mid-ramble, looking over to her psychiatrist. "Why's this important anyway?" Heiran asked, not getting the point of her question. Angela ignored the question.

"You know Ms. Ahn, all people form relationships for some kind of reward, be it physical or psychological." When Heiran looked doubtful of her statement, she explained, turning left and right in her revolving chair. "Think about it. We all form relationships because there's some kind of reward associated with it. Like how we form friendships because we love certain people's company and the mental satisfaction it provides. It's that simple." Angela paused, her fiendish eyes trying to stare right into Heiran's soul. "And I believe Cha Dohyeok receives his reward when he interacts with you. That is all that he's looking for in a friendship with you."

Heiran sighed, feeling conflicted about everything. Was it even possible that people that wholesome existed in this world? A person who felt genuinely happy to help a friend in need without expecting anything back?

"Do you know what your reward is in your relationship with Cha Dohyeok?" Angela asked, clicking the button of the pen in her hand. Heiran knew what the reward was and she didn't want it to be rubbed in her face. Angela did it anyway.

"Your emotional trash dumpster."

"Excuse me?" Heiran asked, affronted. That was not the answer she had been expecting to hear from her mouth.

"Too blunt?" Angela asked, squinting her eyes in an act as if she accidentally made a rookie mistake. "I'll put it this way. He's that close friend who you talk about your feelings with and opens up about your problems without much hesitation."

Heiran couldn't help but agree that it was true. There was only one person in her life that she did not mind opening up about her feelings and problems and that was Dohyeok. She had always thought it was because of his peaceful nature and calming presence.

"Here's the fun bit. You're comfortable with him because he's low-stakes." Angela finished with a proud grin stretching across her ruby-red lips.

"What do you mean?" Heiran was beginning to doubt her psychiatrist's mental sanity.

"Let me dumb it down for you." She placed her pen flat on the table, clasping her hands together to lean forward in her chair. "He is close to you but not that close to you. You're not afraid to show him your true colors because you're not afraid that he might leave once he sees your unflattering sides. Even if he perhaps left, you're not too concerned about it. Why? Because you can live with it."

Heiran was almost completely sure that her psychiatrist had gone nuts. Because there was no way what Angela said was true.

"Oh, don't get me wrong. You do care about Cha Dohyeok and you do consider him your friend. He's just not high-stakes like your roommate or your partner."