𝘖𝘣𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘏𝘰𝘯𝘰𝘳 | JJK |

20

Trigger Warning: mentions of SA. Tread with caution.

Dr. Angela crossed her hands, resting her chin over them with a stare that felt as if it could x-ray souls.

"Are you ready to talk at last, Ms. Ahn?"

Heiran hung her head, trying to relax her trembling hands on her lap. She did not feel ready; she doubted she'd ever feel that way. Laying her weakness bare for the others had always been an especially hard thing for her to do. Yoongi loved to say that she inherited that trait from an overtly independent mother. But that trait had recently done more harm to her than good. She was beginning to see how it was corrosive, eating away at her insides, making her feel trapped.

It was time she faced what she had been avoiding for months. It was time she was free of the shackles of her secrets.

Heiran raised her head and inhaled a deep breath. "Yes. I'm ready."

The faintest of smiles passed over Angela's features, something proud glinting in her gaze.

"I'm all ears."

"A few months back, I got a call from one of the defendants of a former case I took, Lim Yoona." She began narrating the tale, the secret that she closely guarded from everyone, the corrosive memory that was killing her from the inside for months. "She told me some things... t-that she apparently did...to me while I was unconscious. With some q-quite graphic details..." She bit down on her lips, squeezing her eyes shut.

This was hard. Harder than she ever imagined. She could feel every single cell of her body screaming at her in fright. She could feel the flashes of those memories weighing down on her heart like a humongous weight.

She had to break free before it completely broke her apart. She knew what she had to overcome for only if she did, will she ever be free from the prison of her memories, no matter how hard it was.

"I don't know if they're true. I don't even know what she did while I was—" Her voice cracked, a lump forming in her throat. Angela remained patiently silent, waiting for her to go on.

"That not-knowing part." Heiran eventually resumed, looking up into the eyes of her psychiatrist, fully aware that she was laying her soul naked in front of her.

"It kills me."

* * *

Jungkook lay awake on his couch, unable to catch a wink of sleep as he twirled a plastic character ring between his fingers. The nightmares came when he closed his eyes. Sleep was slowly becoming something he dreaded. It was better this way. He didn't deserve rest, he didn't deserve happiness, he didn't deserve any of it. He will live through this never-ending torment, punishing himself for the grave sin he had committed. He warranted every single piercing wound they gave him.

Still, the human heart was selfish. It longed for comfort even when it had no right to do so. It yearned for something it shouldn't yearn for.

Jungkook stared at the pink bunny character on the ring, tracing his fingers over its face as the memories washed over him. The sweet embrace of those times she held close to his heart felt like a warm blanket that could both comfort him and suffocate him simultaneously.

"I like to call it 'The Han Smile'."

In a blink, he was back inside the merchandise store in the city mall, Heiran's arm hooked around his elbow, her voice echoing like a melody as she held up the ring to his face.

"The Han Smile?" He repeated.

"Yup. Look at this Cooky character. You used to look exactly the same when you smiled with your whole teeth back in high school." Heiran told him as she slipped the ring into his fingers.