『(𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲) 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬』𝘯𝘢𝘨𝘪 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘰

¹⁸

﹝ ᴇᴘɪsᴏᴅᴇ ᴇɪɢʜᴛᴇᴇɴ ﹞
𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐢 𝐝𝐨

NOW

"CAN I COME BY tomorrow?" Reo had asked, so thrilled by his victory, he hadn't even thought twice.

Nagi asked what had taken him so long to reply. And honestly? Reo didn't know what to say. There wasn't a good excuse; he had been in the middle of answering everyone's texts when Mei-Ling and Shidou offered to video chat, and Reo simply forgot to press "send" until hours later.

He was already on his bed, pleased by the events of the day when he received Nagi's message and realized: We could hang out like normal if I try hard enough. We will see each other's faces much more from now on, after all.

So, it might come off as a surprise, but Reo didn't have any malicious intent when he asked Nagi to hang out (or he didn't think so, at least). He only wanted to show some politeness, some normalcy between them; all while carefully ignoring the ex's tension that somehow remained. They could leave the club's awkward encounter in the past.

And that was how he ended up here, outside of Nagi's house.

He had only ever visited a handful of times, but the neighborhood hadn't changed much from the little he could remember. Grayish apartment complexes stood one next to the other like cereal boxes on the same cabinet, with trees in between and street lights at every corner. The fact that no memories were attached to these parking lots and sidewalks was somehow relieving. So, Reo felt more confident in his decision to come by.

Nagi jogged down the stairs and Reo smiled casually.

"Hey."

"You came," the other said in an unreadable tone. "Where are we going?"

"I thought we could go on a walk? There's a park close to the rink..."

"Blue Lock's? Or VT's?"

"VT's," Reo replied, moving in that direction. As expected, Nagi fell into step with him, fiddling with his keys in one hand.

It was really peaceful, and with Nagi's quiet company, Reo relaxed as if the other weren't there. This area of the city lacked the loudness Reo had grown used to in Toronto, but it was nice, one could probably hear birds chirping in spring. For a second, he wondered how many months were left until spring. He wouldn't be here, but wasn't spring Nagi's favorite season?

"Congratulations, by the way," the other skater said.

Reo didn't bother looking his way. "You said that a few days ago. Are the results really that surprising?"

His teasing went unanswered, but he continued. "And good luck on Tuesday, I heard you're flying tonight?"

"Yeah, in a few hours."

He hummed, taking a turn towards the park he had found while Mei-Ling and Shidou were still visiting.

Nagi followed without questions — actually, without emitting a sound but the jingle of his keys. Few people were in the park, and as they approached the center immersed in silence, Reo caught a glimpse of the lake. A month or so ago, it would have probably been frozen.

They were already on the bridge, staring into nothingness when Nagi spoke up again. The sound of his keys had stopped.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"Nothing in particular," Reo assured, leaning over the bridge to look down at the lake. There, he found a blurry and distant Seishiro, much easier to talk to than the one with a defensive stance at his side.

Because the strain on his shoulders was defensive, right? Protective. Did he think Reo had called to break any awful news to him? He stood like he was ready to take a hit — an emotional one.

"But you wanted to see me," he insisted.

Not to go down memory lane, Reo supplied in his head. "Sure, for no specific reason. I just wanted to hang out. I feel like we have this weird... wall between us, don't you agree?"

A wall that was built to keep them at bay for a reason. One that Reo disliked for it implied not having burned the baggage they gave each other as teenagers. It implied strong emotions they shouldn't carry anymore. If they had a wall separating them, they had a past. And that past was shameful.

It was horrible to think about — how much did I once need you to breathe, Seishiro? — but it was unchangeable. Back in the day, Reo had been ready to do anything to keep those eyes on him for longer than a second; he had been desperate. For that very reason, he would rather die than reopen that conversation.

So don't worry, Seishiro. I don't mind keeping everything under wraps.

"A wall..." the other seemed to think it over. In the fuzzy silhouette on the water, Reo didn't catch his furrowed brows. "Do you think that's a bad thing?"

"No, well... It's kinda normal, I suppose. But I also feel like it means something, and I don't want any bad vibe between us. That would mean... something." Give him way too much relevance. 

Reo didn't expect their relationship to get as close as it used to be. But realistically, their inability to interact showed they cared too much already, and the idea of caring for Seishiro again made him sick.

He chuckled. The bile was more imaginary than an actual clog in the base of his throat. "Sorry, I'm not making sense right now, am I?"

"Not really."

This is a test, he realized. Can I see Nagi Seishiro and feel absolutely nothing? This was a test from his new self to the old one, to see if the old one persisted. But he wasn't weak anymore, he didn't need constant validation nowadays.

Or did he? Wasn't it funny, how the second Mei-Ling and Shidou were away, Reo's feet guided him to Seishiro once again?

He turned to Nagi, finally facing him. "You look like you actually want to ask something," he noted.

Doubt settled on Nagi's face and his brows pinched together for a flashing moment. The emotion was barely there when the mask fell on top. "Right, maybe I do."

And why give it a thousand turns?

"Then ask."

"I'd like to know what I did to you."