Fighter

Ch.16

Pulling up to the frat house, I can see that it's not like it was the night of the fight. There are a few guys smoking outside but other than that, the house looks calm.

I go to open my door and I hear Maddox say, "Leave it." Before he steps out of the car. So, I wait for him to open my door, all the while smiling to myself. He's such a gentleman. Helping me out of the car, Maddox takes my hand and we walk behind J.J. to the house.

Stepping on the porch I hear, "Well, here's trouble." And I see the announcer from the fight smirking at me.

"Huh?" I ask, confused.

"What is it you want to say James?" Maddox questions, annoyed.

"Your little incident with Tyler wasn't acceptable. He's my bank roll. He bets big every fight. It can't happen again, it's bad for business." He takes a drag from his cigarette and points at me. "Trouble, stays home from now on."

"Fuck off James." Maddox replied bored with the conversation.

"I mean it Maddox, if it's not Tyler, it's going to be some other guy checking her out or hitting on her. I can't let you take out my whole audience." James states, strongly.

"Don't worry about it. She'll have nothing to do with my fights." Maddox tells him.

Walking through the door I start to think about the conversation and I am getting pissed. What the hell?! First they act like I'm not even there. Then Maddox basically indicated I can be a part of his life, just not the fighting part? I don't care if it's too dangerous for me to be there. There's no way in hell I could just sit at home while he goes off fighting. I don't care that we are not officially together or that we haven't known each other long. If he's expecting me to do that, then our relationship or whatever this is; is over. I can honestly say I'm glad I found this out now, it's not too late and I haven't done anything I've regretted.

Maddox takes me to the kitchen, a lot of the guys are eating and talking while, I assume, freshman set up poker tables in the kitchen and living-room. Maddox lets my hand go and gets me a beer. I see J.J. and he's looking at me worried so I smile at him and shake my head and I mouth, 'later.'

He nods back and joins a conversation with Adam and Luke. Bringing back a beer, Maddox hands it to me and says, "Sorry about James."

"What do you mean? What are you sorry about?" I ask, hoping he redeems himself.

"Well, he should've spoken to me in private and not brought you into it." He replies, simply.

"The fight involved me. Why wouldn't he say something to me? Especially, since he wants me to stay away from the fights." I add, getting irritated.

Maddox is catching onto my mood. He's looking at me and when he doesn't say anything, I turn to walk away. He stops me, holding onto my arm. "Where are you going?" He asks quietly.

"To the bathroom, or do I need your permission to do that too?" I question, letting my anger be known.

His face is shocked. I can tell he wasn't expecting that so I make a clean getaway. I walk out of the kitchen and ask one of the guys where the bathroom is and he points up the stairs. I get to the top and see a door with skull and crossbones on it but the door is open and I see the toilet. I walk in and shut the door locking it. Putting the toilet lid down I sit; I need a plan. How do I tell Maddox I don't want to see him anymore? I can't call Chris. I would have to tell him about the fights. I've never had to do this. I guess I will just have to be completely honest. I chug the rest of my beer; I might need liquid courage to look at Maddox and tell him I don't want to go any further with him.

Walking out, I look up and see Maddox leaning on the wall with his hands in his pockets. "What did you mean when you said, 'do I need your permission for that too'?"

"You're a smart guy, I'm sure you already know." I reply, looking at him.

His eyes narrow as they stare into mine. "This is because I don't want you at the fights?" He asks, looking confused.

I want to clap for him, but I settled for asking, "And that's your decision to make?" I question.

"I don't want you to get hurt." He replies, taking his hands out of his pockets and reaching for me.

I step back into the bathroom out of his reach. "I just think this," I tell him, pointing to the both of us, "isn't going to work." I say, honestly.

"What?" He asks, confused his eyes on mine.

"I don't think..." I start saying.

"I heard what you said. What I meant was why? Because of this? You've got to be kidding! I told you at the fight that I didn't want you going again!" He yells.

"So, I have to do everything you want me to do? You can't be serious? I don't want you to fight, that doesn't mean I'd tell you to stop. Look, we don't know each other very well and I think it's a good thing we had something like this come up, that way we can still be friends."

"Friends." He states, it like it's a dirty word.

"Yeah."

"That's never going to happen." He pushes me all the way into the bathroom. He shuts the door and locks it, then turning to me; he picks me up by my butt setting me on the sink counter top.

He pulls my dress up to my thighs, then spreading my legs, he steps between them, bringing his mouth on mine in a heated frenzy. When I brought my hands up, I meant to push him away. Instead, my hands went under his shirt stroking his abs that tightened against my touch.

He stops kissing me and rests his forehead against mine breathing hard. "I can't stomach the fact that you've seen me fight even once. I never want that part of my life to touch you. I don't need you to understand. I just want you to accept it. Who I am in the fights is not who I want to be with you. I do it because there are times I can't calm down and there are times I want to feel something. Fighting gets all my angst out and the promise of feeling something, whether its excitement, it lets me know I'm alive. It takes away the numbness, even if it's fleeting. I need it."

I know what being numb feels like. The only difference between us is I took comfort in the numbness and he fights it. I give him a peck on the lips. "I'll try but I don't know if I can do it." I reply, honestly.