Fighter

Ch. 39

"I'm sorry. I just can't leave without you." Maddox says, his eyes desperate. It occurs to me that this is Maddox panicking.

"I can't. Not right now, just go." I want him gone. He's my weakness and seeing him like this is devastating to me. I never want to see Maddox like this. The fact that I'm causing this is nauseating.

Maddox looks to the floor with the most defeated expression I've ever seen on a person. What am I doing? Tyler's right, maybe if I hadn't tried to change him, Maddox would be confident enough in our relationship and he wouldn't feel like he has to fight for me constantly. I walk to him and hug him and he crushes me to him.

"Please, this is my fault. I just need some time to fix it. I need to think about things. I need you to understand that and give me time and space to breathe. I'll call you tomorrow." I promise, stepping back from him.

His eyes find mine and they say everything. I know mine mirror his. We are two very lost and broken people hanging on to each other because we don't have anyone else. We both don't want to be alone anymore.

"I love you." He says and walks away quickly.

Tyler hugs me from behind resting his chin on my head. "What have I done to him?" I ask, quietly.

"It's not what you've done, babe, this is about him. It's up to him to change his ways and grow up. Stop putting it on you. You've asked him to grow up, nothing more. You're asking him to change for the better, not telling him he's not good enough. If he doesn't want help or doesn't want to change, can live with it and love him regardless? Think about who Maddox is, I don't see him being what you're trying to make him. He's just not the type of guy that conforms to what others expect or want. He does what he likes doing. You love that about Maddox or you don't. That's all I'm saying about it. You have a lot of thinking to do. Don't ask for advice, you know what you want. You know what's right for you and it's your choice, no one else should influence your decision." He states, pointedly.

"Hadley, you're going to need more than a day. Don't rush into anything. You've done enough rushing in this relationship. Stop, think about it." Chris offers, sympathetically.

"I know I do, but he'll find me. He's always rushing things too. He's got a hold over me. He's my weakness, just as much as I am his."

"Road trip!" Tyler, says excitedly.

"What? Where?" I ask.

"I have another shack two hours north, right on the water. It's the perfect place to think. We'll go for a couple of days." He suggests, helpfully.

"I can't go. I have to take care of Alex. Hadley, you should talk to him before you leave." Chris says, sadly.

Just then we hear one of the men who Maddox fought get on the phone reporting to another man. I had forgotten they were still here.

"Yeah, is he here?" I ask.

"Knowing Alex, he's waiting for you to come back out." Chris answers.

"I don't know. I had security start breaking up the party." Tyler adds.

"I'll go look for him. Be right back." Chris says, walking away.

"Ah, I really don't want to do this." I groan, rubbing my temples.

"Man up, buttercup." Tyler orders, smirking at me.

"Shut up, Tyler." I reply, smiling.

Chris and Alex come into the kitchen. Alex is looking a lot like Maddox did. I smile at him letting him know that I don't hate him.

"I'm so sorry, Hadley. I shouldn't have done what I did." He admits, ashamed.

"Its okay, Alex. How about we go for a walk?" I suggest, walking to the back patio.