S.E.A.L

~Moving on~

I am going to Chicago with Brooke for a little bit to get myself together after getting out of the hospital for the second time. I can't be in the same city or state as them anymore its literally killing me. I haven't seen Ro since the day she left the house. I wasn't surprised she didn't try reach out to me, I heard Dallas knocked her up, so she busy with her new baby. I can't fault her for that cause I know she's always wanted kids so I am not as upset as I probably should be. I left Lo and Vi with Li's mom in case she wanted to see them. That's one thing I would never do is keep her from her kids.

I saw Ti the other day by accident; I didn't want her to see me so I turned around and left the store before she saw me. Or so I thought. Before I got out the store she pulled me back into her arms and hugged me. She did the one thing that I didn't expect her to do, she whispered in my ear "I still love you and I always will. I am sorry I didn't consider your feelings". I looked at her and then down at her hand, she had a ring on her ring finger. I picked up her hand and said "I thought this would be us" I said slightly playing with her ring, and then I turned and walked off. I left her there in front of the store yelling my name. I guess that's my sign it's officially over and I need to move on from the almost 5 year's relationship.

I didn't realize at the time, but Ti had actually put the box back in my car that day I wouldn't find it till three hours later when I went to get Charli from school. I couldn't figure out how she got the keys to my car, but then I remembered she had my spare key all this time. I kept the stuff cause...well I really don't know why but I just knew I didn't want to give it back. Now Charli and I are here at the airport with Brook preparing to go to Chicago. You ready? She said tapping me. Yeah, I said putting the picture of the 4 of us back in my purse. Come on Charli get your backpack so we can get on the plane. Okay Gigi! It'll be okay Jay; you just need a fresh start that's all. Brook said my rubbing back. Well Good bye Atlanta for the time being.

3 weeks later....I've been slowly getting back to myself. I don't cry as much as I did when I first got here and I actually leave the house now. Brooke is making me go out and do things so I won't get depressed again. I don't watch TV or listen to the radio cause I don't want to risk hearing or seeing them right now I just need sometime to adjust to be by myself and standing on my own. I realize now that i hoped from one unstable relationship to another and if i ever plan to truly be okay i need to be able to be on my own.

Gigi, can we call and check on Lo and Vi? Charli said. Yeah let's call and see how they are. I grabbed Brook's phone and dialed Li's mom's house number. It rang a few times and then some one answered. Lopes residence! Li said Shit why did she have to answer the phone. I quickly handed the phone to Charli and let him talk. But I could still hear what she was saying. Hello! Titi Lili! Charli is that you? Yes ma'am, I called to see about Lo and Vi. They are okay, there sleeping right now. Oh okay. How are you little man, I miss you? I am good Titi, I miss you too. That's good, where's your Gigi at? He looked at me and I shook my head signaling him not to tell her that I was sitting there. Uhh...she's in the shower right now. Charli are you lying to me? I shook my head telling him to tell her no. No ma'am I am not. Are you sure Charli, cause you know lying is bad. And I am sure your Gigi wouldn't want you to do that. Damn she knows too much. Okay Titi she's not in the shower. I didn't think she was. Put her on the phone for me.

He handed the phone to me. I debated on whether or not I should hang up the phone or talk to her. I put the phone to my ear. I know you are there Jay. I can hear you breathing. Yes Lisa I am here I finally said. Now Jay you know better than that, we haven't been on first name basis since 92. Yeah I know how are the girls? I am trying to keep this short and to the point. They're fine I've been with them for the past 3 weeks. Hmm...Okay! When are you coming back? I don't know, why? Well we have a big worldwide tour and...when does it start? In a month and a half. I'll be back by then don't worry I will get the girls. Baby I miss you so much. Why didn't you use the spare key that day? What you mean Jay? Li I gotta go, kiss the girls for me. No Jay wa... Then I hung up the phone. I know that was harsh but the longer I stayed on the phone the more I felt myself regressing. I don't have time to do that right now. I have a nephew and two little girls to raise.

Brook just came in from work. Hey Jay did you go out today? Yes Brook! Charli and I went to the library and then we had lunch. Okay I am sorry I am just trying to make sure you are okay and that you keep your spirits up? I am fine Brook. So who was that on the phone? Babies Mama! You actually talked to her? I wasn't trying to but Charli can't lie so I had to. How are the girls? They're good. I gotta go back in a month and half, they got a world-wide tour. Will you be okay by then? I should be fine, plus I miss my babies like crazy. They won't be in the state so it shouldn't be a problem. What you gonna do when they finally come back? Move maybe. Really, leave Georgia? I don't something . What's up with the other two? One had a baby and the other is married, but you knew about her already. Damn. Yeah I know. Enough about them, I need to move on. Get back out there and live life. Are you talking about dating too? Yeah, I need to get it together I am young and I am still fine. So are you dating just girls? What the hell kind of question is that Brook, I am talking about guys, dudes, men. Well I didn't know you just got out of a relationship with 3 women. That was a one-time thing and it was meant for us 4. I am ensuring you I am not a lesbian and I not attracted to just any woman. What about Eric? I looked at her like she was crazy. Done and over with I am not doing that ever again. Well if you are serious about getting back out there I got a homeboy I could hook you up with, I mean if you are ready to truly date again. I looked over at Charli who was playing with his toys. I am ready Brook, if they can move on then so can I.

****~~~~****~~~~****~~~~****~~~~****~~~~****~~~~****~~~~****~~~~****~~~~

Looks like Jay is slowly moving on from the girls. Why hasn't Ro tried to contact her though? And was Jay wrong for hanging up on Li like that.