Ma Lo'ak

19

It was the next morning, and I was rolling up me and Lo'ak's beds. I heard Lo'ak and Kiri mumbling about something quietly in the corner, and I strained my ears trying to hear what they were saying.

"Should we tell everyone?" Lo'ak muttered.

"No! They do not need to know," Kiri argued.

"They sleep in the same house as us!"

"Then get your own hut. We're going back to the reef tomorrow, just build one next to ours when you get there."

"Ok." Kiri hugged him quickly then ran off due to Tuk's command, and Lo'ak walked over to me.

"Hey baby," he smiled. I had a slight idea of what he and Kiri were talking about, and I felt the sting of betrayal tug at my heart. I didn't answer and continued what I was doing, not looking at him. He furrowed his brows and placed his hand on my bent over back. "What's wrong?"

I shifted so that I could make eye contact with him, and asked him directly, "Who told Jake and Neytiri everything? They only knew about what had happened that night." I always tried to keep it vague when talking about things like this, it just hurt too much to say it explicitly.

Lo'ak stiffened, and he looked to me with pleading eyes. "They needed to know."

"They did not."

"Yes-" he took a breath, "That way you would never have to be near him again."

"They wouldn't have let me anyways, and your whole fucking family?"

Annoyance laced his voice as he spoke quietly, "That wasn't what I wanted; I couldn't have stopped him."

I huffed and turned back to my task on hand. "Yes, you could've." I stood up and I felt Lo'ak rise as well behind me. "And by the way, I do not want you to build a hut for us." He gulped, now knowing I had heard his conversation with Kiri. 

"Ma Li'laak-" He reached for me, but I swatted his hand and turned to hiss at him.

Neteyam looked up at us and Lo'ak suddenly grabbed my wrist, angrily stomping out of the hut. Neteyam watched as with concern as I struggled against Lo'ak's grasp. He came to a stop in a clearing and threw me from his grasp.

"She found out by herself!" I rolled my eyes disbelievingly and crossed my arms. "You know how she is with these things!"

"I didn't want you to tell them! I still don't! Why do I have to explain this to you?"

"Because they are your family, they deserve to know!"

"They don't need to know!"

"Yes, they do!" Both of our voices had started to rise, and tears were brimming at Lo'ak's eyes.

"There are some things that you don't tell people Lo'ak! And certain people that you don't tell anything, maybe I should add you to my list of those people." His breath picked up, chest starting to heave and his fists balling. I turned away, hair and tail swishing as I stomped away with my arms still crossed.

I can't believe he would do that! The one person I am supposed to be able to trust! My anger turned to sadness, as I realized I couldn't trust him anymore. Ugh, if I could just have Zelay, she could always comfort me, and I could tell her anything. Anything, without a single word back, that was my favorite thing about our relationship. Was.

I needed anyone, someone to talk to. I laid on the grass of a low hill, arms still wrapped around my body. I wanted to cry but I couldn't, my breath simply hitching as I gazed up at the late morning sky.

I woke up that night, like always, gasping for air from horror. Lo'ak was facing away from me, not touching me at all. I clasped both my hands to my mouth, trying not to wake him. I didn't want him to help, knowing that he might go off and tell Kiri. What if I was annoying him? Maybe that's why he told her, not for the advice I had thought.

At this, I cried even harder and took in a sharp inhale, causing Lo'ak to stir. I pushed my face into the ground, trying my best to be quiet. "Don't try to hide it from me," I heard Lo'ak's deep voice above me. I just shook my head, rolling over completely on my stomach, hands still over my mouth. He placed his hand on my hip, asking gently, "Can I help?" 

"No!" I seethed. 

He rolled his eyes, "Well I'm not letting you stay like this all night." He pulled me closer, using one arm to prop himself up on the bed, the side of his head resting on his risen hand. "Shhh," he soothed and ran his hand from my hair all the way down to the small in my back.

I didn't want to, but eventually I gave in to his comfort, still staying on my stomach, refusing to look at him. He sighed as I fully calmed down, and went to lay on his back, twisting his body as he situated. 

"Thank you," I mumbled.

"Hmmm?" He turned his head to face me.

"Even after our fight you still helped me," I responded, question lacing my tone.

He smiled slightly and gave my head a few strokes, causing me to turn and look at him. "Yes well, even though you're mad at me, I still love you." 

He pecked my nose as I murmured back, "And I still am mad at you."