What The Heart Needs - The Heart #3 (Complete)

Chapter 13 - Part 1

I was dazed as I drove back to my house feeling like I had been kicked in the chest. I had messed up so bad there was no coming back from this. Aiden had made himself very clear and I had no choice but to accept it.

I'd had my chance and I had blown it. It wasn't like I was ready to jump into another relationship but we could have taken it slowly. There had been no need to rush things. Although after seeing Lacey go through surgery and her life hang in the balance, I didn't want to waste time.

When I got into bed that night and stared up the ceiling in the dark, memories of Aiden and I in the janitor's closet made me feel hot all over. I tossed and turned, unable to find a comfortable position to sleep in.

How could I have been so resistant to something for the last few weeks that I wanted now. I didn't want him to be with someone else, I wanted him to be mine. Was it seeing him with someone else that had finally forced me to see what I had been resistant to before? That I wanted him.

And I had royally screwed it up.

He didn't want anything to do with me. The only thing he wanted from me was updates on Lacey. It hurt. Could I really blame him?

I frowned. The guilt of our actions had been eating away at me. It wasn't like I had been out painting the town red and on the prowl for a new boyfriend. I had been struggling to make sense of how I felt about him and why when he was near nothing else mattered.

He had felt it too. He had at least had the guts to face what he felt, unlike me. It had taken seeing him with someone else to scare me into action.

And now what?

Could I really do anything to change things? He didn't want anything to do with me. He was rightfully angry. But that didn't mean I had to accept things.

When I had been indecisive, he had been strong. Now it was my turn to convince him that we had shared something important enough that we owed it to each other to at least explore it. I wasn't going to give up so easily on him or us.

I did not sleep a wink. The emotions I felt strengthened and when the sun began to rise I got up showered and changed.

Luckily it was Saturday so I didn't have any other commitments.

My sole task was to sort things out with Aiden. He was angry and he had every right to be but he couldn't just shut me out. If he had really cared he wouldn't have been able to discard me so easily.

I wasn't convinced I was going to be able to convince him to change his mind but I had to at least try. I had screwed things up with Max so badly, I had to believe it hadn't been for nothing.

If I had taken the time to really think though my actions I might have changed my mind. But I refused to even consider the craziness of what I was contemplating. I'd never ever done something like this before.

If he still refused to have anything to do with me then I had at least tried.

I got into my car and started it up before backing up out of the driveway.

I tapped my hands against the steering wheel feeling jittery. Yawning, I rubbed my eyes while I drove.

It didn't take long before I pulled up outside Aiden's house. It was only then the enormity of my actions dawned on me and I felt a moment of hesitation. This was crazy and so unlike me.

As I sat staring at his bedroom window I remember how his lips had touched mine. The stirring of butterflies inside of my stomach made me touch my lips gently like I could still feel his kiss.

I couldn't just let it go without a fight. I got my phone out.

I messaged him.

I need to talk to you. I'm outside.