Rue [YiZhan]

12

Xiao Zhan spent the night in his apartment with a wet pillow to hug and when the clock strikes five in the morning, he gets up and starts to pack enough things for his unexpected trip to his parents' house.

It only took him several hours before he finally found himself in front of his parents' residence. He immediately steps forward to their front door. He knocked several times before he heard his father from inside shouted, "Wait."

The doorknob clicked and the door opened. He saw his father look at him and saw how his father's face turn into a great shock, "What are you doing here?"

He smiled weakly before he heard his mom shout from inside, "Who is it?"

Mrs. Xiao jogged right after and saw her son outside. She immediately ran towards Xiao Zhan, "Xiao Zhan?!"

Xiao Zhan smiled, he could feel his eyes starting to feel warm, a sign he is about to tear up. He immediately hugged the two elderly in front of him, "Ma, Pa. It's been a while."

He received a tap from his father and a comforting caress from his mother.

After an overwhelming mini-reunion, Mrs. Xiao suddenly broke the hug and slapped Xiao Zhan's shoulder, "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in class?!"

Xiao Zhan smiled, "I feel exhausted. I decided to stay here for two days. Don't worry, there is no need to worry. I have Xuan Lu covering me."

Mrs. Xiao looked at him, concerned, "What happened?"

Mr. Xiao quietly backed off, leaving the mother and son to talk.

Xiao Zhan looked at his father's figure disappearing to the kitchen, he started to talk, "I'm... I'm confused."

Mrs. Xiao leads him to sit down on the couch, without her removing her hands on Xiao Zhan's back, 'Why?"

Xiao Zhan, "It's... about Yibo?"

He noticed Mrs. Xiao backed away for a second, "Yibo? What happened to him? Did you two fight?"

Xiao Zhan shook his head, denying the question, "No. We... were fine until yesterday."

Mrs. Xiao furrowed her brows, "So, you two did fought."

Xiao Zhan, "It's not really a fight. I think I was too overwhelmed to even control myself."

Mrs. Xiao noticed her son's hands forming into fists. She immediately held his hands, "A-Zhan."

Xiao Zhan could feel his lips quiver and eyes starting to feel warm, he couldn't help but answer with an unstable voice, "I don't now, Ma."

Mrs. Xiao, "You don't have to know. There is no need to hurry. Take a rest and then we can talk about it later."

Xiao Zhan sniffled and nodded like a child to his mother, he is her son after all.

Letting her see his vulnerable side wouldn't hurt.

Mrs. Xiao, "Have you eaten already?"

Xiao Zhan smiled.

With a broken heart, turbulent mind yet full stomach, Xiao Zhan went inside his room. He laid down and closed his eyes. All he could think of is how Wang Yibo indirectly hurt him. He knows he has no right to be hurt about whatever Wang Yibo does with his life but he couldn't help but feel betrayed.

He could feel himself falling into unconsciousness with a heavy heart.

Wang Yibo went to Xiao Zhan's apartment but found no one responding back. He couldn't help but to feel worried, he couldn't see himself in the same position he was in months ago.

What wrong did he do this time?

His attention were drawn when a familiar voice from his back was heard, "Yibo?"

He looked at his back and saw Cheng Xiao with her hair braided and wearing a plain white shirt and shorts, "Hey. have you seen Xiao Zhan?"

Cheng Xiao shrugged her shoulders, "No. I think he's still sleeping? Why don't you come inside my place while waiting for Xiao Zhan?"

Wang Yibo shook his head, declining Cheng Xiao's offer, "I need to talk to him."

He opened his phone and tried to dial Xiao Zhan's number, in hopes to talk to the older man.

Cheng Xiao crossed her arms, "What's with the two of you? You always fight."

Wang Yibo didn't respond and only kept the phone near his ear, waiting for the other side to pick up.

Cheng Xiao, "Do you want to go out? I have nothing to do today."

Xiao Zhan woke up with 5 missed calls from Wang Yibo but he couldn't care less. He knows Wang Yibo is confused as to why he acted impulsively yesterday but he can't speak to him right now. he just wanted to clear his mind and forget about him for now.

He got up and saw Mrs. Xiao embroidering a piece of clothing on the couch. He approached her and sat beside her.

Mrs. Xiao looked up to him, "You're awake."

Xiao Zhan smiled, "I am."

Mrs. Xiao nodded, "Feeling better?"

Xiao Zhan, "I think so."

Mrs. Xiao nodded again and didn't respond.

Xiao Zhan, "About earlier..."

"Mn?"

I'm confused about what to feel about Wang Yibo dating a girl.

"How... do you know if you like someone?" Xiao Zhan finally asked, "Like... not just a simple infatuation. You know..."

Mrs. Xiao answered, her eyes on her embroidery, "Love, perhaps?"

Xiao Zhan stayed silent.

Mrs. Xiao, "I was confused too. I had several crushes during my childhood and puberty. I had a lot of suitors and adored that I was confused when I finally met your father. It was different from what I thought it was. I realized... it's not all about rainbows and butterflies and sweet candies but also sorrow and worries and confusion. Do you like someone, Xiao Zhan?"

Xiao Zhan didn't answer.

Mrs. Xiao, "Love is different to everyone. Some could say it is non-existent, some think it is everything, some think it is painful and not worth the risk. It is up to you if whatever you are feeling to someone is either platonic, romantic or just simple adoration."

Xiao Zhan opened his mouth, it took him several seconds before he had the urge to ask his mother, "Is it possible, as a man, to like... a man?"

His heart starts to pound when his mother's hands paused.

He closed his eyes firmly and his body tensing up, about to cry, he heard Mrs. Xiao, "Is he worth the risk?"

Xiao Zhan slowly opened his teary eyes and saw Mrs. Xiao already looking at him. She dropped her embroidery and touched Xiao Zhan's cheeks. Xiao Zhan, after several hours of keeping his tears from flowing, finally let them go.

Mrs. Xiao, "If he is worth the risk, try it. There is no need to feel worried. The worst thing he could say is 'no' but I doubt he will, hm?"

Xiao Zhan frowned, "You're not mad?"

Mrs. Xiao, "Is there anything to be mad about? This may be a new thing to me but I know you can't teach your heart who to love. It would only hurt you even more if I didn't accept you, right? After all, you're still the ZhanZhan whom I loved the most."

Xiao Zhan smiled and hugged his mother, he could feel his heart hurting. He couldn't tell what he's feeling. He is too overwhelmed to even understand a thing. At this moment, everything doesn't matter.

He is just a child who wanted a hug and assurance from his mother.