Love you, Hate you

Blackout

Kongpob runs his eyes around the room, his feet tapping nervously against the wooden floor, knees bouncing as he checks his watch for nth time in last, let's say, 10 minutes. He has asked for a half day today, pretending to have a migraine attack. His boss would had gladly agreed for a full day leave, but then Kongpob didn't wanted a guilty conscience, leaving his employer on his own in a whole new country.

The young man rightens in his seat, as there's movement on the screen of the laptop. A tall man, looking quiet young for the experience he is holding up as per the reports, dressed in a white lab coat, appears. The handsome face, appeared all sculpted and carved out of a rock with all sharp edged angles, defined in a detailed manner, unnerving Kongpob some more with the blank yet probing stare.

"Hello Mr. Rojanapat!"

Goosebumps spread all over Kongpob hearing the name. There's an accent, a drawl at the end. Also, It's the very first time someone has addressed him with his new surname. Even though he knew it's temporary, he was reluctant for the changed surname, but because of the agreement between Arthit's mother and him, he had to go through it. Earlier when he called in for the appointment, he had introduced himself as Kongpob Suthilak but seeing that the other called him by other name, the doctor has gone through his medical reports, which he was asked to email before.

Kongpob greets back the other, trying to pull off a smile but judging from the pensive look the psychiatrist thrown his way, he has failed spectacularly. The assistant eases a bit when the man gives him a kind smile. All sharpness of the rigid face vanishing in thin air.

" No need to be nervous Mr.. ah', the doctor pauses a little, his eyes shining with understanding and gentleness, making him a cimpletly differnt person from the aloof one. A soft smile pulling both corners of the lips ,".. can I call you with your first name? You won't be older than me anyways. So can I? I mean, if you have a problem with that..."

Kongpob relaxes some more and nods, realising why the other is famous in the psychiatrist world. The man has a way to make you comfortable. It has only been minutes since he has addressed Kongpob with his new name but seeing how the other asked to change it, he definitely has caught on to Kongpob's discomfort.

" Yes yes sure. Call me by my name"

*******

"Thank you doctor"

Kongpob bows his head a bit, bidding his goodbye before signing out of the meeting. Bringing down the screen, he shuts off the laptop, dropping his head flat on the surface. Doctor's words keep repeating in his head.

"Doctor, is- is there a chance of having a mixed up memory...I mean...overlapping of memories due to high alcohal consumption?"

"Hmm...yes. Not only that but one could also have a complete black out or memory loss alongside distortion of memories"

"Blackout?? You mean to say that there could be chances of me forgetting or mixing up things if I drink alcohal?"

" Not to everyone. Affect of alcohal differs from person to person. Can you elaborate some more? "

Kongpob hesitates, not sure how much should he tell. Or if he should tell anything at all. After all it is all just a speculation on his part.

"Don't worry. Anything you say here, is and will always be confidential. Its basic work ethics. We can't disclose our clients history and records to anybody else. If speaking legally, you can sue us in case of breaching. So, no need to be conscious. You can trust me", the young professional coaxes the other, waiting patiently for the reply.

Making up his mind, the assistant takes a deep breath, before recounting whatever is left of his memory of that night from 3 years ago. The doctor listened to him attentively, taking notes in between, never interuppting Kongpob, going through all pauses and gaps without a sign of frustration or annoyance.

Kongpob feels light headed from all talking but the weight he was carrying around all this while lessens a bit. Only now he realises how there's more than one hole in his memory.

The psychiatrist sighs, looking at the words he had wrote down earlier, which shows clear symptoms of a blackout. But judging from the way other talked, his patient is a person who is more vulnerable emotionally. There could be chances of later making up some new memory just to ease his heart.

"Doctor?"

Lifting his head, he looks straight in younger one's eyes, "I think you surely do have a memory black out. One can try hypnosis to learn more but I don't think it would be of much help to you anyways"

'Why?"

"Your emotions were all over the place earlier when you were telling about that night. In such condition, brain tends to conjure up a whole new memory out of thin air. So I suggest, you take some time, try to learn about that night , ask others who accompanied you. And if that doesn't work, come and meet me at my clinic. We will have the hypnosis sesssion"

...what should I do? Should I just go and ask boss? But what if he gets suspicious? I can't tell him that I have a memory gap. It would be like accepting to his accusations.... Kongpob pulls out of his musings at the shrill ringing of his cell phone. Seeing that it's assistant director, he picks up readily.

"Hell-

"Mr. Arthit has had an accident while shooting the stunt. We are taking him to Jaivainyee Hospital. Come quickly"

*******

"Kongpob!", Mille and others stand up as the other person stops in front of them.

The said man huffs and puffs, bending he clutches his knees. His heart racing miles, his brain conjuring all worst scenarios. Panting he signs towards the emergency ward "how is he now? Are the wounds grave? How it happened?"

" The wires broke down mid air. He was down before anyone could react. Fortunately he was wearing jackets, so there's no breaking of bones. But he had hit his head. To not leak the news, we had brought him up in my car. Doctors have bandaged him up and - Excuse me", Mille stops as her phone rings. PIcking up the call, she moves away.

Talking a bit, she walks back to the other, " Sir has postponed the shooting for today. It is decided to shoot other co actor's part first for new few days and give Arthit time to recuperate. I'll be going now. Kiarvi and Jane will help you with discharge papers", the lady pointed to the other two members of crew.

Kongpob nods," thank you for helping him out"

Mille smiles, patting other's shoulder," I'll be off now. Take care of him".

Turning she faces the other two, all traces of gentleness vanishing off her face, proving her nickname the crazy bitch.

Glaring right in eyes of the two, she instructs, her voice menacing and cold, leaving no traces of leniency,"Be on alert. Make sure that no media gets an air of this"