Never Enough | Luke Hemmings

Chapter 39

I saw the dull shadows of a shattered being and latched on in hopes that together we'd find healing or be brutally buried.

**

"Heath Andy Ledger.
1996-2014
Beloved son, brother, friend & soul mate.
May you never fade from the memories of the ones who love you."

The grey tombstone that I had sat here staring at for countless hours and days after he passed doesn't crush me entirely anymore. I don't cry, I don't break down, I don't lose my mind...I just let the words haunt me a little more than it already does. I'm friends with this kind of pain. 

"Who—who was he?" Luke asks from behind me, the setting sun darkening his golden hair and casting shadows across his face. I couldn't believe he actually came looking for me. Luke was here, for me.

I sit down in front of Heath's stone among a hundred others. Luke sits down next to me and takes the red pack of chocolate covered jelly beans I bought from a store nearby on our way here from my hands. Opening the pack, he tosses one in his mouth and scrunches his nose at the taste, waiting for me to reply.

The world was moving so slow. Can I trust this man in front of me with something that almost my entire life has revolved around? Will he stick around after this? Will Heath like me telling someone else about us?

Heath is dead, Sierra.

I look back at the stone so I don't have to look at Luke. I won't be able to do this if I keep looking at him.

"Do you see that?" I point towards the word soul mate.

"Yes." Luke nods his head.

"His parents had it put there, for me...and him. He was my soul mate, I was his."

Luke doesn't utter a word. I don't think he's even breathing but I continue. If I stop now I stop forever, this has to be the last time I ever tell anyone.

"Well, I thought we were. Now I'm not so sure. Because you know they say, when your soul mate leaves this world you feel it? That you feel something tug at your heart and then suddenly you're left with a black hole,"

I feel fingers twine through my own. Luke lifts my hand to his and kisses my fingers. Light fluttering kisses that I feel to the core of my being.

"Go on love, I'm listening." He murmurs.

"I didn't feel it. I—" A laugh escapes me and I shake my head to stop myself.

"I was fast asleep in my bed, oblivious and not caring. The last time I saw him alive? We fought about the stupidest thing. It was of so much unimportance I want to drive my head into this ground when I think about it."

I take the pack of chocolate covered jelly beans from Luke and shove a handful of them in my mouth. Now I know why people smoke, anything to distract them from facing this kind of stress. This was so stressful. Living these moments again and actually having to tell someone else.

"I was a little pissy and clingy child that needed too much from a guy that already gave her everything he can."

Luke puts his hand under my chin and turns my face to look at him. "I'm sure that's not true. It's normal to want—" I put my hand up to stop him.

"Just let me finish okay? Try to make me feel better after." Luke nods and runs a hand through his hair.

"We dated for three and a half years. Our worlds revolved around each other. Everyone knew we were meant to be. Even we knew so we always had these great plans for our future and all the things we wanted to do," I take a deep breath to stop the tears and pounding headache I can feel that's about to overtake me.