Never Enough | Luke Hemmings

Chapter 65

"If I was given the chance to go back in time just to meet you all over again, I'm not quite sure if I would. Even at the chance that you would stay. I don't know if I could risk losing you all over again. I barely survived this one."
- Connotativewords | jl | Limits

**

The afternoon light streams in as I lean over my work table, furiously sketching a dress I have been working on relentlessly for hours. Every time I have an idea, a brilliant idea, it flies away before I can grasp onto it and immortalise it on paper.

The days after the funeral are...stagnant. The days turn into weeks and Luke is silent but he is present, thankfully. He holds me close whenever he is around and disappears for a couple of hours a day, I don't question him because then I feel as though I'm smothering him with my affection.

This morning he murmured something about a jog around the city while he changed into sweat pants and put his ear buds in, walking out of the house after giving me a soft kiss on the lips.

It felt weird, having someone living with me around the clock for the first time in years but it also had a familiarity to it that I couldn't put my finger on. I would find myself getting bored if I'm alone without him for a few hours.

Lilian, my boss, has been quite understanding too, giving me permission to work on my designs from home and free rein to use the office whenever I wanted to. The band's management thankfully decided to finally give them a break, the rest of the tour being pushed back to the end of the year.

No one was mentally capable or ready to perform for thousands of people after Luke finally gathered the courage and sat down to talk to the other three members of his band; his brothers, about everything that he had kept from them all this time.

I colour in different shades of the dress, blotting them out with my fingers as I go. Lilian had told me to figure out who I wanted to invite to the opening of my label and she hadn't hesitated to boast about how any designer is at my disposal if I wanted them to be because no one would refuse an invite from Lilian Bradford. It was extremely overwhelming and even more frustrating to be reminded of every time I messed up.

An exasperated groan emits from my mouth and I blink away frustrated tears when I'm not satisfied with the design in front of me. It was not supposed to be this hard...I was born for this, wasn't I?

The front door opens and Luke walks in, a paper bag in his hand. His eyebrows furrow with concern when he sees the expression on my face. "What's wrong?" He walks towards me and takes my hands, lifting me up from my chair and pulling me to his chest.

"I can't... get them right, it's just not right." I huff, looking down at my drawings with despair as he rubs circles into my back.

"You've been working for hours. Have you eaten anything?" Luke looks down at me with a raised eyebrow and I bite down on my lip, shaking my head no.

He reaches behind him and hands me the brown paper bag. "Bagels." He smiles and my mood brightens a little when I smell the warm bread.

"You're a blessing." I groan and bite down on one, closing my eyes.

Luke watches me for a second and then pushes away from where he is leaning against my desk. "Eat up and change your clothes," he points at my pyjamas. "—we're going somewhere."

"Where?" I mumble with a mouth full of bagel, raising a questioning eyebrow at him. I had to get these designs done by next week or I could kiss my label goodbye. It was 'round the clock work for me.

I cringe at my own thoughts, chastising myself for being so hard on myself. "I'll tell you on the way." He kisses me on the forehead and disappears into the bedroom, checking his phone.