criminalminds x reader

chapter 26

Tw talk of sh

It's been a week. My therapist came by once in 2 days. The team went out on a case but Spencer stayed here to look after me.

I've been trying to get out of bed more. I even went on a walk yesterday.
I'm also a week clean, I know its good that I'm clean but I miss cutting so much. I love it but I also hate it.
I'm clean from cutting but I still kinda sh.

I use a rubber band for my urges.
It isn't the same as cutting but it does help a bit.

And sometimes I scratch myself aswell.
My therapist had put me on antidepressants since yesterday.
The meds feel kinda weird, idk how to describe it"

I decided to get up and make Spencer breakfast, he just went to the grocery store real quick.

I made some blueberry pancakes.

"Hey your awake. And you made breakfast?"

"Ye I eem, I just wanted to thank you for this week"
I say looking down. Knowing I've been distant to him and then close the next second.

Allowing someone to help me is still difficult.

"You didn't have to do that"
I put out 3 pancakes on each plate.

"No I know, I just wanted to. You want sirop?" Spencer shook his head as he grabs his plate and sits down at the kitchen counter.
I did put some sirop on mine.

Spencer gave me my meds. He thinks it's best he controlled my antidepressants for a little while. I can control my own anxiety meds.

"O y/n we need to get your stitches taken out today"
I still had stitches in my arm, atleast the ones in the big vertical line on My arm.

The other cuts on my upper arm snd thighs were just wrapped.
Spencer has been putting a cream on my arms everyday.

I put the cream on my inner thighs myself. So he had seen them already, but it still makes me uncomfortable.

"Will you be doing it?"
Spencer nod his head. I feel better that he does it then I have to go to another random doctor.

Once we finish food. Spencer takes the supplies out my medical cabinet.

I sat down on the couch.
And roll up both my sleeves. I don't like to look at my arms so I look at the TV.

"Oke all done"
He puts the cream on my arms and wrapped them up for safety.

"Isn't the team coming back today?"
They had a big case, took about 5  days.
"Ye, why?"

"Well I kinda miss them. Could we maybe drive down to the bureau and welcome them?"
I could see Spencer eyes light up, the same way they did went I agreed to go on a walk yesterday.
Spencer agreed so I hopped in the shower.
Used mouth wash.
Put up my hair real fast.
I put on joggings with a matching sweater and put a leather jacket over it.

"Can I drive? I like driving "
Spencer rolled his eyes with a smile.
I got my keys and hoped I my car.
Spencer got seated in the passengers seat.

I just put on some bohemian rhapsody from Queen. And get driving.

Both my and Spencer are singing.

I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the Fandango!

Thunderbolts and lightning, very, very frightening me
Galileo, Galileo
Galileo, Galileo
Galileo, Figaro - magnificoo

We finished to song and I passed out favourite coffee shop.

"Ooooo can we get coffee first? We have time right?"
I hadn't had my favourite coffee in over a month. And damn did I miss it.