criminalminds x reader

chapter 55

It was getting dark. I was half asleep behind my desk. So was emily behind hers.

Spencer came to drop something of from the m.e 
I could hear everything but I kept my eyes closed.
The gave the bag to em who was also almost asleep.
"Is she okay?" Spencer asked reffurning to me.
" it hit her pretty hard, especially with her brother being in town. It brings up alot of things"  I could feel their eyes on me.
"I really didn't mean to snap at her like that. It's just my mom is the only family I have...I get really emotional when it comes to her"
"She knows that. I don't think she's mad. She's just hurt"

Luke came down and said todd was clearer then before so if emily wanted to talk to him she should now.

I hear her walk of and Spencer walked closer to me.
"I'm really sorry" he said as he takes out my blanket from my drawer and puts it around me.
I always have a comfort blanket with me.

After he left I fell asleep.

I got woken up few hours later.
"Hey sweetheart wake up"

Everyone was standing at their desks.
"What? What is it?" I say sleepy.
"The case is over" jj said as she was packing in her stuff.
"What happend?"
"He told us everything. His father used to make him wear does dog coulers. And leg him sleep in-between the pigs. We found the latest victim there. Alive and well"

(Watch season 12 ep 4 if you want to know how the case ended)

"Mhh that's good " I could barely keep my eyes open.
"What time is it?" I asked.
"About 2 am" Rossi answered.
"Let's get you home" I put on my backpack and got ny helmet.
"I'm not letting you drive" emily said. I groined and leaned against her with every step that I took.

We all got in the elevator and I leaned my head on Emily's shoulder. Basically falling asleep while standing.

She drove me home and I immediately dropped in bed.
"I'll get you new pyjamas "
But i was already drifting off to sleep.

~
*next morning *
I got woke up by an alarm.
I groin and dragged myself out of bed.

I get in the shower and get dressed.
I go down to the kitchen and the table was set. Eggs again.
"I made eggs again, since last time we didn't really eat it" I walk by her and kiss her on the head.
"From my part we can do that every morning " I smile and get some coffee .
"Just sit down and eat your eggs"

I walk over with my coffee mug and say " yes mommy"
She looked at me shocked.
"Did you just call me mommy?"
"I mean your quiet a bit older than me. And I grew up without a Mom bc mine is dead so I obviously have mommy issues, and also daddy issues..." I say with a smile.
Emily had her cheeky face and was playing around with her tongue.

( she's so gorgeous 😍)

"Wanne go-" emily asked but i interrupted her and took her and as we ran into the bedroom.

Yk what happens next.

"Shit I'm going to be late for therapy "
I said when we both finished and I put my clothes back on.
"I love you!" Emily screamed behind me as I rush out the door

(I'm not going to write out every therapy session anymore)

I got to therapy and told her everything. That I relapsed....that I don't take my antidepressants....about Eddie. About what Spencer said. And just how I feel. I didnt tell her about my struggels with food tho.
I hadn't eaten yesterday and well the eggs are still in the kitchen.

"Is it bad that I feel disappointed in myself?"
"Why do you feel disappointed?" Dokter blakely asked
"I just thought that I would be better by now. But to be honest I feel the same as before I went into the mental hospital. The only difference is, now I don't actively want to kill myself"

"Mental health is a journey. And not wanting to kill yourself is already a big difference. You don't just get better. It goes slowly."

The therapy session went on. Dokter blakely convinced me to give my brother Eddie a chance. I was able to forgive the drunk driver so why can't I forgive Eddie? That was her argument. But I didn't forgive the drunk driver...penelope was to one to forgive him. And I just supported her.

I decided to text Eddie
Y/n: are you still In town?
Big wolf 🐺: yes just a few more days...
Y/n: im willing to talk. Or atleast listen . Meet me at my favourite cafe *****( the address) pls don't ruin my favourite coffee shop.

I called up Rossi to let him know.
"Hey dave...I know I said I would be in after therapy but....I'm giving my brother a chance to explain. So would it be okay of I took the day off?"

"Ofc! Family is important. Have you talked to Spencer yet?"
"No im waiting until he gets back. I really got to go now. Thank you "

I get to the coffee shop and order my favourite coffee.
I sit down and wait for Eddie.
He finally arrived and sat down infront of me.
"I didn't know what coffee you like so..." I say looking down at my reusable cup.
"That's fine I already had coffee. And eem I like it black"

It was really awkward and nobody said anything so I decided to talk.
"How are my niece and nephew?"
Just bc I haven't heard from my brother doesn't mean I haven't heard from my niece and nephew.
They reached out and I video call them a few times.

"Well Zahra is 17 now. She reminds me alot of you. A strong smart and beautiful woman. Who isnt afraid to show vulnerability and to ask for help"
"She told me you said that to her last time we called..." I look down and smile a little.
Zahra was born when I was 5, right after my parents died. So we are really close in age. And just close in general. Although I only saw her a few times irl at family party's.

"Is she still insecure about her body?" I asked
"A bit. But she was strong enough to ask for help so we got her into therapy"
"Then zayn is 14 now much like Carlos at that age"
I smile again.
"He's very kind and gentle. Makes everyone laugh and always looks out for his sister. He's a bit emotional but we love that about him"
"Does sound like Carlos"

Eddie laughs and so do I.

"Look y/n-"
Now we're getting started.
I look up to face him.
" I don't have any valid excuses. I should have been there for you"
"Then why weren't you?"
He sighed.
" aradia (his wife) was having a difficult pregnancy. So when our brothers called to tell me you and our parents were in a car crash i wanted to come over. But aradia was just moved into surgery herself. And then 2 months later i had a new born. I was scared to look back. I was scared to look at you bc everyday you looked more and more like mom and dad.  Part of me even blamed penelope and I hated that part. But I did come to visit eventually. When you were in high-school and when you got send to a facility for your Ed "

"I don't remember ever seeing you"
"Y/n- what do you even remember"
I sighed. I didnt have much memories of my childhood. He could be right. He could have been there a few times...but i can't remember.
"I'm sorry" I say looking down.
"I should be apologising. I wasn't there enough for you then. And I was never here now"

I got up and hugged him.
"I missed you big wolf"
He laughed.
"Do you, Carlos and p still call us the wolf pack?" He asked.
"O yes we do" I say as I sit down again.
The rest of the conversation we just catched up on life.

Btw the wife and kids don't exist, like I said there isn't any info of penelope's brothers so I decided to make my own creation