32: Remembering That I Love You Is Enough

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"I can't wait to make a million more first times"

After she'd promised Riven not to put herself in danger, the guilt of keeping things from him and lying to him had become almost unbearable. Especially since she was continuing her research with Beatrix on whatever was going on.

So far, they hadn't found any concrete evidence that the ancient fire fairy cave had to be the centre of what was happening, and now, Beatrix was trying to convince Rose that all the weird stuff happening was related to her family history.

"Okay, now you're just making stuff up," Rose chuckled as she closed another book.

Just like the ten or more so that she'd combed through before, it hadn't given her any answers.

"I'm not!" Beatrix huffed. "Isn't it obvious?"

Well, no, Rose thought cynically while trying her hardest not to sigh. She recognised that shimmer in Beatrix' eyes and every fibre of her body was telling her that she wasn't going to like whatever she was getting at.

"Your parents don't use their magic, yet you're one of the strongest fairies walking around this school," Beatrix continued as Rose stayed silent. "It's not like I take pleasure in admitting that. I still think you're boring and obnoxious, but something about this just doesn't add up."

"Jeez, thanks," Rose muttered as she rolled her eyes. "But I think you're reading into it too much. My parents don't use their magic that often because they think it's dangerous. That's it, no big mystery. They're both fire fairies. When both parents carry the same element, often powerful fairies are born. It's not uncommon."

"You're not just powerful, Rose," Beatrix argued. "You wiped out an entire army of dark spiders. Please don't make me compliment you again."

The way Beatrix was rubbing her temples as if complimenting her was physically paining her, made a smile appear on Rose's face. She just knew that despite the mean comments and rude remarks, Beatrix was warming up to her.

"Well, it's not like I control power like that all the time. It was just a fight or flight kind of thing. A survival reaction. It doesn't mean anything, and it certainly doesn't prove that there is something wrong with my family."

"Fine. Don't look into it, but if that's not where the answers lie, then I don't know what else to tell you. We have to visit that cave, there's nothing else left for us to do."

The impatient tapping of Beatrix' fingers on the tabletop and the determination in her eyes gave Rose a uneasy feeling. Uneasy because she was conflicted. The possibility of a new adventure and getting some answers made her feel giddy and excited but also, she knew that putting herself in danger like that couldn't turn out well.

Part of her had always knows that it would come to this. That they had to visit the cave. More so, part of her had always hoped this would be the outcome. She wanted to go back, feel that warm burn of familiarity again, feel the power again, but it was no easy task. However, she was in too deep to back out. Even if that meant she had to keep lying to the people closest to her.

You can't put them in danger too, Rose thought as the painful sting of being dishonest and distant pierced her insides. You're doing it to protect them.

The words didn't cure the ache, but they dulled it. Dulled it enough to convince herself that it was all for the best.

But what about Riven?

Another unwanted thought. Another painful jab in her chest. He had been nothing but understanding and supportive, but Rose knew they couldn't keep this charade going on forever.

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⏰ Last updated: Aug 11, 2023 ⏰

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