ME & THE MONSTER

blue

The next time I saw him, I was dressed up as Stitch.

Last winter, our boss, Mrs Taylor, had taken it into her head to throw a costume party at Anker's once a month – to 'spice things up', that was how she put it.

Unfortunately the habit had stuck and people seemed to love the idea. Also, Mrs T. had made it mandatory for the ruddy staff to be dressed up as well, 'so that customers wouldn't feel out of place', i.e.: having us waiters mercilessly ridiculed.

To make matters worse, these parties were themed, so that you couldn't actually dress up in something that struck your fancy or in a costume that required the minimum of time and money. No, Mrs T. insisted We Follow The Theme Or Else.

Hateful hag.

The theme for this month was Disney films, and Vanessa had shrieked with glee at the news. I should've known better than to trust her with the costume. But to be honest, I couldn't be bothered to come up with costume ideas, let alone search shops or the Internet for one – it had been a pretty hard week at the training centre and I was knackered.

"Don't you worry that pretty head of yours," Vanessa had said, eyes gleaming. "I'll get us something for a song. And, yes, something subtle, I promise."

I should point out that Vanessa's idea of subtle was the equivalent of wearing a leopard-print trikini to a business dinner.

She'd turned up at my flat yesterday with a laden plastic bag and a smile.

"Check out what I found on Amazon," she'd said, skipping around the living room in excitement. "I'm a genius, I reckon. You're going to love it, Rae."

I flopped down on the carpet and pulled something out from the bag. Something suspiciously blue and fluffy. I stared down at it with a dawning sense of horror.

"You've got to be kidding me."

"I know, isn't it fabulous? Here's mine, look." Vanessa swished out a green skirt and a garland of flowers, and gave a triumphant twirl. "Ta-da. We're Lilo and Stitch! You know, from the movies?"

I inspected the furry blue thing in my hands, warily. "Bloody Hell, it's a jumpsuit? And it has – ears? And please don't tell me this part is worn over the head."

Vanessa clapped her hands in glee.

"That's right! What kind of imposter Stitch would you be otherwise?"

"Ah, so I take it I'm going as Stitch and you as Lilo?" I crossed my arms. "No way. No fricking way."

Vanessa pouted. "Don't be so wet, Rae. Your turn to choose next time if you like. It's just a bit of fun."

"Cheek," I protested. "You're not going to be the one swanning about dressed as a weirdo blue dog in front of dozens of people."

"He's not a dog, Rae. Since when is Stitch a dog? He's an alien. Duh."

"Well, thank god for that," I said sarcastically. "You've really eased my mind now."

"Look, you don't have time to look for anything else now. Go on, please?"

I sighed, defeated. "Did I mention that I hate you?"

* * *

"Here you are," Lilo said in a sing-song voice, setting down a tumbler on the bar. "Have a good night, Mike."

Prince Charming rapped at the foam sword strapped at his waist and ran an appreciative eye over her. "Looking good, V. Looking good. I'll see you around."