ME & THE MONSTER

reckless

The chorus of Back to Black erupted into the air when the front door opened.

"Christ. What is this racket?"

A brisk clatter of shoes, and my delightful flatmate Sean walked into the living room, coat in hand, a frown on his face.

"It's Amy Winehouse, Sean," I said. "Not a racket. But I'll turn it down, since you asked so nicely."

I was celebrating, as a matter of fact. I'd just passed my latest exams with flying colours and Head Fireman Williams had informed me personally I was now ready for the next part of the training. Ecstatic as I'd been, I felt my earlier mood deflating at Sean's presence.

Boy did that guy know how to sour anyone in an instant. We'd been sharing this flat in Camden Town for a couple of years, sometimes accompanied by other people, sometimes not, and you'd think we'd be used to coinhabiting by now, but we weren't.

Sean was a hygiene maniac and insisted on hiring a cleaner, but I thought it was totally unnecessary. He claimed I always made too much noise and frowned on me having friends over, while I wished he'd lighten up. He'd recently graduated with a Literature degree and looked down his nose on anyone who didn't read The Odyssey for fun.

In other words, we couldn't stand each other.

Sean strode out of sight. I heard the fridge click open and the hiss of a can.

"You better turn it right off. I've got to work on my doctoral thesis and I can't hear myself think. Weren't you going to be away this evening, in fact?" he called from the kitchen.

I resisted the urge to bash him on the head with whatever was at hand.

"Hey, you really know how to make a girl feel wanted, Sean. And no, change of plan. I'm staying in tonight, sorry to disappoint you."

"Why?"

He reappeared in the doorway, sipping at a beer. He ran a hand over his crew cut. There was something of the bloodhound about Sean: he had heavy jowls, drooping, melancholy eyes, and a restless manner. I could imagine him briskly sniffing around for plump rabbits only too well.

"Well, I've got to babysit someone," I said. "My parents are going out tonight and he hates being left on his own, you see."

"What? Babysit here? I thought I'd just told you I need silence. And where's the kid, anyway?"

I fought down a smirk. "Don't worry, you won't hear a squeak from him." I whistled. "Cerb, come here, boy. There's a good boy."

A moment later the room crashed into sound as the coffee table was knocked over. Sean raised his eyes from the smashed pieces of a vase to the hulking black form in front of him. I saw the colour bleed out of his face.

"W-what is that?"

"He's not a that. He's a who," I said, grinning. "Sean, meet lovely Cerberus. Cerb, this is Sean. No, you can't chew his leg off yet, lovie. Better wait when he's distracted."

*

"A steak for you, sir – and what would you like, miss? A salad, maybe?"

Eden glared at the waiter. "Or maybe not. I'd like a cheeseburger, please. Actually, make that two cheeseburgers, I'm starving."

As soon as he was out of earshot, Kal snorted. She turned her scowl on him.

"What's so funny?"

"You, Eds. You remind me of my aunt's growling Yorkshire terrier."