ME & THE MONSTER

morning

I blinked awake.

The clock on my nightstand told me it was eleven o'clock. Thank goodness it was Saturday – no Park Royal training, and – I remembered with a sudden sick feeling – no night shift at Anker's tonight. I wondered what I was going to do about that. I needed a job to pay my rent, and I wanted to keep my parents' help to a bare minimum.

I swung out of bed, careful not to disturb the sleeping Kal. It seemed like the coffee had had no effect on him whatsoever. The sound of his steady breathing was strangely soothing. He curled up on the carpet, burrowed under the thick blanket, and there was a gentleness about him that I hadn't ever seen before. I stared at the lashes, soft on the cheeks, at the zebra patterns the sun drew on his pale forehead. The strong curve of his shoulder. The way his hands were tucked under his chin, loose with sleep.

I looked at him. An acid kind of joy erupted in my skin. I wanted to touch his face. I wanted to lie down by him and feel the warmth of his arms around me. I wanted our breaths mingling together and the sun bright on our eyes and the clock on my nightstand telling us it was midday, six o'clock, night again. Telling me it was forever. I wanted his smile on me and the smell of him in my head, all the time. I wanted the deep sound of his voice for myself, to listen to when all else was grey. I wanted the ruthless hunter, and the singer dressed in black velvet, and the broken boy who lay asleep on my rug, tender as dawn.

I left the room.

Sean was in the kitchen when I arrived, standing behind the open fridge door. His hazel eyes were bloodshot and he was wearing giant fluffy Cookie-monster slippers. It would have looked comical on anyone but him; he just stepped higher up the sociopath-likeness scale. He smelt of tobacco.

"You finished the apple juice?" he said by way of greeting. "I don't mind you having some every now and again, but for God's sake, Rae, don't empty the whole thing."

"Good morning to you too, Sean," I said. "Long night yesterday, huh?"

He rubbed his eyes. "Mm."

I unpeeled a banana and took a bite.

"Hey, could I swing by your shop sometime this week? You'll let me buy stuff at half price, won't you?"

Sean and his mother owned a large vintage bookshop, where he worked every other evening. Much as I disliked the guy, I had to admit he had a good business head on his shoulders; he'd converted half the place into a swanky cafeteria that was always teeming with people.

His lip twisted into a lofty curl. "What for? You're practically illiterate."

I rolled my eyes. "Not being fond of reading, Sean," I said, "is not the same as being illiterate, I regret to inform you. And I need some books as gifts for friends of mine."

Sean shrugged. "Come by whenever you want."

The rest of the sentence hung in the air, unsaid but clear, I don't give a damn.

Then Kal appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, dark hair rumpled, yawning a huge yawn. His bruises looked purple-black in the morning sun. My heart gave a leap.

"Morning," he said, and he leaned against the frame. He was barefoot.

Sean gaped at him. "And who the hell are you?"

"I'm Kal," he said, casting a look at me. "A –" A pause. "A friend of Rae's. And you must be Sean. Pleased to meet you."

Sean ignored him, and glanced at me, an expression of disgust spreading over his face.

"God, Rae, you're a fast worker, aren't you? First that guy who woke me up, then that other posh bloke, and now this one."

I guessed he meant Paul, a guy I'd met at the Park Royal and whom I'd had the stupidity to fall for when all he clearly wanted was a one-night-stand. The posh bloke he mentioned could be none other than Ben. My face flushed with mortification. And in front of Kal. I wanted to die.

Kal's voice was quiet but firm when he said: "Don't talk to her like that."

"It's okay," I said, my voice wobbling. "I can handle him." I turned to Sean. "First, you're a sexist pig. So any guy in the world can have as many lovers as he feels like, but I can't, just because I'm a woman? Second, it's none of your bloody business. And third, this is my house too as far as I remember. I can invite over anyone I want."

Sean sneered at me for a moment, then stalked out of the kitchen.

"Wow," Kal said from the doorway. "That's one delightful guy."

"Isn't he?" I breathed deeply in, cooling the anger. "Do you want anything to eat or something?"

"You've done enough for me, Rae. Don't want to overstay my welcome."

"Right," I said, walking towards him. "I'll see you out then. By the way, I still think you should have a doctor see you, Kal. Check there's nothing wrong with you."

Following me along the corridor, Kal grinned.

"Are you worried about me, Rae Carrows?"

I scowled. "I'm not. It merely gets under my skin, your stubbornness."

"I hate hospitals." Kal shrugged.

"That's just stupid."

We stopped at the hall. Newspapers crunched under our feet; every autumn Sean would cover the entire hall floor with them to prevent it from getting wet or dirty from rainwater. He really was such a maniac.

I fumbled with my keys. We looked at each other.

"It's my birthday today," I blurted out.

Kal smiled at me. "Is it? Happy birthday, then," he said, and he grabbed my hand, all of a sudden. "And Rae?"

"Yeah?"

I smiled back at him, easy as drawing a breath. It should have been awkward, this whole interaction between us the morning after, when so many things had changed, when we didn't know where we were going anymore. But it wasn't, not really. It was merely tinged with a slight hesitation, which was natural, considering the circumstances.

"Thank you," Kal said, squeezing my hand, and I could feel the calluses of his fingers. I wondered if he'd got them from playing the guitar. "For everything."

It was the most beautiful thing in the world, the feel of his warm hand in mine.

He looked at me, an almost boyish hopefulness in his eyes. "So we're – friends, then, right?"

I snorted, dropping my hand from his.

"Don't push your luck too far, Kal."

But we were both smiling as he stepped past me and through the door.