ME & THE MONSTER

interlude

♠️What Kal says about being different

Hey, you. Yes, I'm talking to you. I know what it's like, always being the odd one out. Been there, done that. I know what it's like, feeling like you're condemned to a life where you won't ever fit anywhere. Like you're swimming against this powerful current, and you're straining and struggling and kicking back. But it's so much stronger than you, so much more vicious, and your bones start to burn.

It hurts, sometimes. Of course it hurts. It hurts so badly, not to be understood, or to be mocked for having different ambitions. Or for fighting for what matters to you. Or for being downright original.

Listen to me. Fuck them. I mean it. Fuck those who sneer at you and that sceptical look in their eye and their cowardice. Because, yes, in case you were wondering, it takes freaking guts to be different from the rest, actually. And people are so damned spineless.

But you know what? You're not. You're one of a kind. You're the distinct, plucky one in a herd of timidly bleating sheep. So, yes, whoever you are. You heard me. Keep fighting for yourself, and for what you believe in, no matter if others ridicule it. Do the things you love, no matter what others say. Equally important, don't do the things you never wanted to do in the first place. Be true to yourself, always.

Okay, enough with the lecturing.

🖊️Kal's list of maddening things people say (because you're not like them)🖊️

Oh, you write songs? Right. What, you sometimes write poetry too? Dude, isn't doing that kind of gay?

Dearest, would you mind not playing that music in front of Cassandra and your brother? I – I don't think it's such a good influence on them. I don't, well, want them having any strange ideas, you know?

Hey, you want some? Sure you don't? Man, it's only weed. Don't be so wet. Live a little, for god's sake.

Kal, why don't you wear a crew cut like everyone else?

Are you seriously reading again? You're such a nerd. Don't you, like, get bored? I don't think I've ever finished a book in my life.

(It's terrifying, really, to think of the number of pea-brained people there are crawling about.)

*

♠️What Rae says about bullying

Oh my freaking unicorns, bullying. Particularly terrifying, bullying at high school, when you're nothing but this messy, vulnerable teenager. I don't even know where to start.

Let me tell you just one thing. If you're different, be it for one reason or another, your odds of being bullied multiply. Anything can be used as an excuse.
Maybe you're a foreigner that's just arrived in town and you're struggling with the language. Your classmates snigger when you answer questions in class, mimicking your accent.

Or maybe you've always been kind of chubby. It was never a big deal, but suddenly your friends are squeezing into crop tops and piercing their belly buttons and looking at you with mingled pity and revulsion. They start calling you fat. Porky. Whale.

Maybe you're just smart, but now people groan when you come out top of the class. They ask if you've got a life outside school. If you've got no friends, or what?

Here's the thing. Perhaps you don't. People shun those who aren't like them. Nine times out of ten, there's nobody brave enough to not give a crap about what the rest of the group thinks and to actually remain by your side.

You're alone in your pain. It eats you inside out. You feel so ashamed of yourself, for being the weirdo they all claim you are. You hide in the library at lunchtime with a sandwich, not daring to make an appearance in the cafeteria. Because you know what they'll call you, and what you'll see in their eyes.

That's the common factor in all experiences of bullying, I think.

You're always so bloody scared.

For some reason, the fact that you're different infuriates the hell out of people. I swear it does. You see them pause and frown at you, their brains going tick tick tick.

They can't stand it. They resent it, and sometimes they envy it, and because people are so twisted, they turn cruel. They make a game out of your suffering. They laugh through the day, and you bet it doesn't keep them up at night.

You wonder if you'll make it out alive. You wonder if there's something wrong with you.

There must be something wrong with you, you reason; otherwise people would leave you alone, wouldn't they? You wonder when this will end, this ache inside you, this feeling of being inferior, all the time.

Trust me. It does end. You've got to hold on, okay? You've got to be brave, braver than they'll ever be. You'll learn from this. You'll learn how to stand up for yourself. You'll learn that some things aren't okay, even if everyone ignores it, or makes a joke out of it. You'll grow resilient.

You'll learn which is the kind of person you never, ever want to be.

Speak up about what's happening to you. Hold on. Be strong. Be brave. You're almost there.

🖊️Rae's list of maddening things people say (because you're not like them)🖊️

Did you finish that project we had to do on time? God, you did. That's such a loser thing to do, isn't it?

Girl, you're not wearing that to the party, are you?

You dropped out of uni? Oh my god, for real? Don't you feel like you're, you know, at a disadvantage compared to everyone else?

Guys, listen to this, listen! Rae here likes bird-watching. Isn't it hilarious? Bird-watching. Yeah, I know. I mean, it's totally the sort of thing someone in their seventies would have as a hobby, isn't it?

What, you have no Instagram? Not even Twitter or Snapchat or I dunno. No? You're weird.