it's just too hard

soft nights with you

𝔱𝔯𝔦𝔤𝔤𝔢𝔯 𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔡 𝔦𝔫 𝔬𝔭𝔢𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔲𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔯'𝔰 𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢

☆

sapnap feels like his body drops back into himself, pulling him back into reality as the body beside his own moves. he startles internally at the sudden change, noticing his phone in his hands, twitter open, and wonders when he had even opened the app.

the brunette beside him reaches over, touching a gentle hand on his arm, and whispers tiredly, "babe, put your phone away and get some sleep."

the phone is taken carefully from his hands, his boyfriend reaching across to discard it onto the bedside cabinet.

sapnap looks down at karl, his vision coming to focus on the brunette's face. his hair is all messed up and eyes squinty from the recent sleep he had clearly woken up from. sapnap has no idea what time it is.

"i tried, i can't," he says. the words feel honest but he can't actually remember if he'd tried to sleep or not. what he does know is that he doesn't feel tired- he feels wide awake.

the other boy blinks up at him, eyes adapting more to being awake as time passes. "what's up?" he wonders, voice sweet, as he slowly shuffles to be half-sitting up. he looks at sapnap with a worried expression, brows furrowed.

"nothing, i'm just restless," he answers honestly. it isn't like there's something playing on his mind, he just can't sleep. "just not tired."

"do you want some melatonin?" karl offers, sitting up. "i have my circadian in my bag, and some of the like store stuff that isn't prescribed."

"no, it's fine," sapnap dismisses, smiling at his lover. "i'll just stay up."

karl offers sapnap a sad smile before leaning up to give him a quick kiss. he pulls away before sapnap even has time to relax into it, climbing out of bed on tired limbs. sapnap watches knowingly as karl disappears into his bathroom, coming back with a glass of water which he leaves on the bedside cabinet before heading over to his backpack.

sapnap can't help the fond smile that finds his features as he watches the other boy. karl unscrews a bottle, one which sapnap knows to be the store-bought sleeping tablets, and takes two out.

the brunette puts the bottle away and closes his bag, putting the pills with the water. he climbs over sapnap to get back to his side of the bed whilst saying, "there's no pressure, you can leave them there if you don't want them, but just so you have the choice."

"thanks," sapnap replies as karl snuggles back into his side, his head on sapnap's thigh since the ravenette is sat up.

sapnap's gaze fixes on a mark on the wall and he feels almost unable to look away from it. he contemplates taking the pills, just so he can finally get some good sleep for once, but then he doesn't know if it's a good idea. he doesn't want to have too good of a sleep that he craves it and ends up having to take medicine every night just to rest- even though, realistically, he probably should be prescribed with something.

his attention shifts at a small squeeze to his thigh and karl's sweet voice saying, "babe?"

sapnap hums in response, looking down to find the other blinking right back up at him.