it's just too hard

let him down easy

𝔱𝔯𝔦𝔤𝔤𝔢𝔯 𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔡 𝔦𝔫 𝔬𝔭𝔢𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔲𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔯'𝔰 𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢

☆

sapnap shuts the door behind himself, biting at his bottom lip as he shuffles awkwardly from foot to foot, his heart thumping in his chest.

"uhm, i think this is most of your stuff," karl speaks, voice sad, gesturing to the box of belongings that sits in the centre of his floor.

sapnap can see a few hoodies, a photo album, his spare toothbrush and a deodorant he'd left here. he's sure there's more below, probably sweatpants and socks, more hoodies most likely. the sight hurts him.

"thanks," he says, but he makes no move to pick it up.

karl sits down on the edge of his bed and the pair of them make eye contact from across the room.

the silence is strangling.

"do-" karl cuts himself off, swallowing. there's another long moment of silence. "you can stay, if you want," he offers, "we can order food or something?"

sapnap shifts his weight from one foot to the other again, feeling his knee bend slightly. "i shouldn't," he declines, despite every fibre of his body telling him he should. "we broke up, you know?" he shrugs, "i should probably just, take my stuff and go."

"yeah, right," karl nods, looking down at the floor.

sapnap still doesn't move to take the box.

karl sniffs.

sapnap avoids looking at the brunette. it would be bad if they both cried.

"i-" karl stops himself again. sapnap wonders what his ex may say in the moments before he cuts himself off. "i don't want us to- to end."

sapnap bites down on his lip, his hands coming together in front of him. he pulls at his own fingers, feeling them pop. "you broke up with me, karl," he says. "you were being controlling."

"i was scared," the brunette defends, looking over at sapnap with wet eyes. "i didn't-" he inhales shakily, and sapnap can tell he genuinely is fighting back tears. "i didn't think you'd actually- you know..."

"you had no reason to be scared," sapnap says, still standing at the door. the distance between them feels longer and longer each second. "you know i would never cheat on you."

"i know," karl agrees quietly, looking back at his lap. "i'm sorry."

sapnap nods. "it's okay."

"it's not," karl denies. he picks at the material of his pyjama trousers and sapnap vaguely wonders if the other had been out of bed at all today. "i don't have the right to tell you who you can't talk to."

"no, you don't," sapnap agrees.

"i was being stupid."