it's just too hard

but who will hold him together now you're gone?

𝔱𝔯𝔦𝔤𝔤𝔢𝔯 𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔡 𝔦𝔫 𝔬𝔭𝔢𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔲𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔯'𝔰 𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢

☆

"can i talk to you?"

sapnap shifts his attention back to his friends. dream's eyes are on karl, a poorly concealed glare sent the brunette's way. he flicks his gaze to punz, seeing the blond with an expectant expression.

"sure," sapnap answers, getting up off of the cafeteria chair. he doesn't miss how punz rolls his eyes with a silent scoff, shaking his head in disappointment.

sapnap ignores it, picking his bag up and leaving his trash on the table as he turns to follow karl out of the room.

they walk in a loud silence through the school and out the back doors onto the field. some people are playing a random sport, so karl leads him over to the bleachers to be out of anyone's range of hearing.

they stop and karl turns, looking back at him. there's a few feet of space between them, eyes connected across the gap as they both wait.

"i'm sorr-"

"i'm breaking up with you," sapnap interrupts.

karl nods like he understands, a guilty expression on his face. "like, actually?" he then asks. "i know what i did was awful, but i swear to you i wanted to help, i was just scared."

sapnap shakes his head, repeating, "i'm breaking up with you." karl bites his lip and sapnap adds, "for real, this time."

karl nods again. "i get no more chances?"

"no," sapnap shakes his head. "i can't-" he looks away, glancing off towards the field of people. "i don't see my boyfriend when i look at you anymore."

"okay," karl replies, "i understand."

"i'm sorry," sapnap apologises, looking back at the brunette's hurt expression.

"don't be sorry," karl dismisses, forcing a smile. "you're doing the right thing."

sapnap can see the regret in the other's eyes and it's almost like he can hear karl's thoughts - wishing he could've just stepped in, stopped this from happening. "i'll drop your stuff off tonight," sapnap says, trying to push down his own guilt, "can you have mine ready to pick up?"

"yeah," karl agrees. "i really am sorry, you know?"

sapnap nods, "i know." he shifts from one foot to the other, swallowing the tightness in his throat. "i'm only picking stuff up tonight," he tries to sound stern, though his voice wavers, "i don't want to stay to talk, or get back with you."

"i understand," karl tells him. "i won't try to make you stay this time, i promise. don't think that means i love you any less though. i know that- i know that might be hard to believe, with the way i've treated you, but i really do love you sapnap."