it's just too hard

to name the haze that pushes me down

𝔱𝔯𝔦𝔤𝔤𝔢𝔯 𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔡 𝔦𝔫 𝔬𝔭𝔢𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔲𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔯'𝔰 𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢

☆

"here," karl's voice rings out over the music and sapnap instinctively takes the drink being passed to him, smiling in thanks and taking a sip to show he appreciates it.

he almost splutters at the taste.

"it's a shot, idiot," karl giggles sweetly.

sapnap looks down at the red solo cup, observing how much liquid there is and swishing it around. he watches it splash against the sides of the cup.

"it's a double," karl tells him as if he could see the question in the other's mind, hand protectively finding sapnap's waist. "you don't have to drink it if you don't want," he is quick to assure, "i'll have it if you won't."

karl has said that with every new drink he'd passed to the ravenette and sapnap has ignored it each time, much like now as he quickly swallows the vodka - though, it doesn't taste so much like vodka anymore, after drinking so much.

jesus, he told himself he wouldn't get drunk!

"maybe no more now," karl laughs, carefully taking the empty cup from sapnap's hand and putting it off to the side. he still has his own cup in hand, though he's been drinking more mixed drinks than shots.

they've probably had the same amount of alcohol but both boys know full well that sapnap is a lightweight.

it's almost as if karl hadn't heard himself when he holds his own drink up, saying, "do you want to try some?"

sapnap doesn't, not really. he wanted to stop drinking before he even started but there's just something about the fact that it's karl offering that makes him nod without thought. the brunette holds the cup up to his lips, like sapnap is too drunk to even hold it himself, and tips it back.

sapnap thought he agreed to a sip but karl holds it in place for a good few mouthfuls, which sapnap drinks anyway since it's that, or let it spill all over himself.

when karl finally moves it away, he looks almost proud, though he giggles at the grimace that sapnap makes at the flavour.

the ravenette suddenly realises how long it's been since he last spoke and he contemplates saying something just for the sake of it before deciding not to. the alcohol has made his tongue feel all fat in his mouth, the thought of talking making his stomach churn.

plus, karl has some kind of skill in reading his face, his posture, his mannerisms, so he supposes he doesn't really need to say anything.

"do you wanna go sit down?" karl asks, looking almost concerned but moreso drunk. "you're all wobbly," he giggles.

sapnap agrees with a nod, smiling to himself when karl grabs his hand and relaxing against the warmth of the other's palm as the brunette leads him through the busy house. with his hand in karl's, sapnap can almost ignore the crowds of people they're walking through. he zoned out the music long ago, as well as other people's mindless chatter.