Lies and Deception ✔ (Haciendero #4)

Ikalabimpitong Kabanata

Kabanata 17

Date your ex

It's been a week since I last saw him. It's been a week since I came back to the life I left behind.

It doesn't feel right.

Nangangapa ako pabalik sa kinagisnan kong buhay. I couldn't grasp it anymore. Maybe, I would get a hang of it after some time. Kailangan ko lang bigyan ng espasyo at oras, naninibago lang ako pansamantala.

I tried indulging myself with my usual routines before, but things just didn't spark like they used to be. Kahit ang pag-shopping hindi ko magawang ma-enjoy. All memories with Rye came rushing back to me.

Wala pa akong naikukuwento kay Michelle. I haven't told her anything about him. Sigurado akong uulanin ako ng mga katanungan, hindi pa ako handang sagutin ang mga iyon. Hindi lang tanong... she would basically dig everything.

May utang na loob pa akong hindi nababayaran kay Raius, I have to repay that. Hindi pa sa ngayon.

I sighed.

What's even happening to me? I should be happy I'm back in the comfort of my own home, yet it feels empty. The enormous mansion full of expensive furniture and things, there's still a lot of space to fill.

Michelle was trying to revive the passion in me. She tries to engage me with acting gigs once again. Wala pa ring alam ang press sa pagbabalik ko, tinatamasa ko muna ang tahimik na buhay bago akong muling sumabak sa giyera ng show business.

"Hello?!" I heard an annoyed voice. "Earth to Lilah?"

Inirapan niya ako nang magsalubong ang aming mga mata.

"You've been spacing out lately. Ano bang nangyayari sa'yo? Is there a problem? Are you alright?" Itinigil niya ang pag-aayos ng bags ng pinamili ko. Even shopping doesn't light up my spirits. "Ang tamlay mo nitong mga nakaraang araw. Tell me the truth, did something happen while you were away?"

I shook my head to deny. "Hindi ka pa ba aalis? You're overstaying in my room." Itinuro ko ang pinto.

"Well, girl, I'm a bearer of good news." She walked towards me. Naupo siya sa tabi ko.

"What?" maarte kong tanong.

"I contacted Trevor, do you wanna meet up with him like the old times?" Michelle giggled like a school girl.

Nawala naman ang excitement sa mukha niya ng makita ang hindi interesadong ekspresyon ng mukha ko.

It's an old news that I had so many flings... I don't do relationship, it's always just flings and fun. Si Raius lang ang una at matagal kong naging relasyon --- I'm that attracted to him. But I'm not good at keeping relationships, even with the man I liked the most.

"What's with the look?"

"I'm not interested," Tumayo ako. "Do you know what I like?"

Tumaas ang kanyang kilay.

"You get out of my sight." I rolled my eyes at her.

Hindi na ako natutuwa sa suggestions niya. It wasn't what I wanted. If I were craving for a man, I knew someone who would satisfy my needs. Isang lalaki lang naman ang nami-miss ko.

I missed his cooking... I missed his laughs... I missed our cuddles after sex.

I missed everything about him.

But instead of staying with him, I broke whatever we had. Hanggang sa hacienda lang ang ugnayan naming dalawa. It's better be contained that early than be ruined by the forces surrounding me in the city.