APRICITY... Jan Rozmanowski

Familiar

"Ugh, finally," whined Jan, plopping down next to me on the soft beige couch, trying to find the best and most comfortable position and turning on the tv, switching channels back and forth. The exams are over after what felt like decades and I can proudly say we both passed. I'm exhausted. Jan and I haven't seen each other in weeks, mostly because of the exams but there are other factors too.

Right now we've settled down on the news channel while my head is on his lap and his left hand caressing my hair. I could stay in this moment forever and just listen to him breath. The only sound is the faint one coming from the bright tv, other than that it's complete peace and silence. Sometimes the solution isn't talking. This time it is.

"We need to talk," he inhaled, dropping his hand from my hair and earning a confused look from me.
"Sure what is it," I sat up straight and yawned, stretching my hands out and turning my tired gaze to him.
"I know this is gonna sound crazy but-" he looked away, thought for a second and then found my eyes again to continue, this time with furrowed brows,
"I'm moving to Poland. I know what you're thinking but wait-" he tried defending himself as I interrupted, all the tiredness washing away in seconds,
"What...Whe- Huh?"
"I said wait. I want you to come with me," he said with a calm and steady voice to not upset me, of course failing.
"Are you out of your mind? Out of all times, you decide to tell me now after I got into ICU," I tried to remain as calm as Jan but my voice grew louder and angrier.
"Julia, listen to me, please-" I looked at him with disbelief clearly splattered in mostly my eyes and face.
"No," I whispered, looking down,
"No..."

"Julia- Babe, are you okay. Wake up," a faint voice grew clearer and closer to my face. I flinched at the touch of someone's hand against my forehead. I opened my eyes in fear, finding myself shaking and crying in the white hotel bed. The voice turned out to be Matt right in front of me with a worried and scared look on his face. It's still dark outside and the boxy clock says 4:46 am.

I'm confused. What was this all about. That was three entire years ago. Why does my brain want to remember that moment so vividly. Me and Jan haven't talked since he moved. Do I even want to talk with him? I don't think so. We've both moved on. Well at least I am.

Me and Matt are a match made in heaven. I thought to myself as I fidgeted with the diamond ring on my left hand. That whole day was perfect, from the early morning until the dead of night.

With one knee on the ground, he asked the golden question,
"Julia, will you marry me?" My hand flew in front of my moth. I couldn't hold back the tears of happiness as I nodded repeatedly, the people around us clapping and cheering.

Oh how in love I am with this man. I calmed down and looked up to him with a slight smile dancing on my lips, nodding. I closed my eyes again, Matt wrapping his hands around my waist and pulling me closer.

A voice grew louder in my head,
"This feels like a thing Jan would do," it said. I interrupted "What the fuck. Why are you talking about Jan? I'm engaged. What is wrong with you," "But what would Jan be doing in this exact moment?" It didn't leave me alone. "Shut up! Julia, focus. Why am I talking to a voice that isn't even real?"

I shifted between the sheets and Matt, getting uncomfortable but not making a big deal out of it.

Just go to sleep...

-

"So when is it our turn for the rehearsals?" I asked, munching down on some bread that I had found from the snack basket and laying down next to Sam.
"After Finland. After us is Tyler's lover Belgium and so on so forth," Matt mumbled chuckling, not taking his eyes off the phone. Sam let out a laugh and turned to look at Tyler who was giving a death stare to Matt, trying to keep a straight face. I snickered at the interaction of the two and stood up,
"I'm going to the bathroom," everyone nodded, not paying attention.
"Be quick. We want to go watch Finlands rehearsal before ours," stated our manager who had appeared out of nowhere, startling all of us.
"I was talking with the crew in the other room," she cleared things up. 'Oh's and 'Ah's were heard across the room.

I opened the soundproof door and stepped out, reading the signs. I eyed the hallow and dim lighted corridor.
'Toilets' stood on the banner. I followed the arrow and turned left, bumping into someone.

"Omg I'm so sorry," I apologised, straightening my t-shirt and dusting my jeans.
"Julia?" an awfully familiar voice asked. I looked up, finding him already staring at me.
This can't be. No no no... What is he doing here?
I pushed past him and ran towards the bathroom as fast as I possibly could with platform boots on.
He tried keeping up with me, shouting my name over and over again,
"Can you at least listen for a second?" I finally turned around, standing a few steps away from the white bathroom door and him,
"What is there to listen Jan. You left me when I needed you. You did this. Jan, I've moved on. I'm fucking engaged. Leave me the fuck alone now!"

That left him speechless. I slammed the door right in front of his eyes, just like the last time we talked. I kind of felt sorry but I the anger in me doesn't have any empathy left. I don't have time for any of that.

-

We are now in the backstage, cheering for Finlands representative.
"That was immaculate," exclaimed Matt, embracing Käärijä as he ran off the stage. We all nodded in sync, agreeing. Oh shit, now it's our turn.

I took my guitar and made my way to the stage, the boys following me. Tyler found a good spot a few meters away from me and started tuning. I mirrored his actions, at the same time eyeing the huge arena and the people sitting.

Brunette had just sat down next to Alika, both waving at me with grins on their faces. I flashed them a smile. Sam had settled down behind me, trying some beats and yelling something to the sound engineer.

Now who's in the second row. There's not many people as expected but some of them are here and present. Hmm, Alessandra from Norway I know, Joker Out is also laughing.
My smile dropped. Oh fuck. Him. Again.

His hands are crossed to his chest and face blank, showing no emotion at all. My eyes found his. He was fighting back a smile but that didn't stop me from staring deeper into his soul. My eyes grew darker and the grip on my guitar tighter. He slightly smirked, sending a shiver down my spine. My face didn't change. Oh you don't know who you're messing with. I made my way to Matt, still not breaking the burning eye contact. His eyes followed every single one of my moves.

"Kiss me," I whispered, still staring into Jans furious eyes. Matt looked at me with a surprised look but then shrugged, doing as I said. I broke the eye contact. Our lips moved in sync as well as our bodies. My right hand on his chest, fisting his dress shirt and left one in his wavy hair, his hands on my rosy cheeks. The air grew hotter and the tension unbearable. I could still feel his stare on the back of my head. If looks could kill, that would be the one.

We parted, both gasping for air. I thanked him, turning around and finding Jans eyes. The look on his face, simply priceless. His normally blue eyes now black, full of anger and jealousy. I shook my head and chuckled to myself. He scoffed, sternly stood up and left, not saying anything to anyone. Not even a goodbye. That's what you get.
Mission successfully completed.

.................................................................................
Jan and Julia meet again.
Thank you so much for 1k. When I started writing this, I didn't even think people would pay attention to it but here we are. Even though I sometimes hate this story, I still continue writing for you. Thank you thank you thank you.
And the biggest thanks to jannsbff 
Without you this story would be a complete mess.
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