APRICITY... Jan Rozmanowski

Hill

"More pictures got leaked... Jan I don't want to do this anymore," I whined while looking down at my phone, the image of us hugging each other in the corridor after the interview in front of me. He squeezed my side as I rested my head on his bare chest, dropping my phone next to me. I shut my eyes and let out a big sigh.

"Done," he whispered after a minute of silence. I opened my eyes and looked at him, obviously confused.
"You said you didn't want to do this anymore so-"
"What did you do..." I furrowed my brows and sat up, kind of. He pointed at his phone. My face stayed the same until he finally began.
"We're not a secret anymore..."
My eyes widened as I rushed to open instagram and look at his page. New story. I clicked on it, a photo of him shirtless, smirking down at me, and my head on his chest taking over the screen with the text:

"Please leave us alone now
Dziękuję"

My heart dropped. We can't just do that. Oh this is gonna have serious consequences.
"Jan you can't just make us public out of the blue," our eyes locked as I took his hand and tried to pull him up just to get pushed down on the bed right next to him.
"Kochanie, you're leaving the band anyways. This had to happen eventually. We can't keep living like this forever," he tried to explain while pulling me closer and stroking my hair.
"I know but- I'm just so scared-"
"I'm fucking terrified but it's for the sake of our future," he pecked the corner of my lips, nervously chuckling to ease the mood. I nodded, thinking about it.

"So we can kiss in public now?" was the first thing I asked, earning a snort from him.
"Yeah...I guess we can," he laughed, squeezing me even tighter than before.
"I love you,"
"Kocham cię,"

After a while of just staring at each other he got up, stretching his arms on either side, his back muscles flexing.
"I can feel your eyes, you know?" he turned his head to me. I hid my face with a pillow in embarrassment, feeling my cheeks turn hot. He let out a chuckle in return and made his way to the bathroom.
"I'm gonna take a quick shower..." he stated, disappearing into the room.
"...you can join,"
I quickly got up as well and took a t-shirt from his suitcase, already hearing the water running as he hummed along to some Eurovision song.

-

"No...no interviews. I said leave us alone. N-no? ...Absolutely not. Can't you understand simple English. I said no, the end," he threw his phone on the floor, bringing his hands to his hair and letting out a sigh of frustration.
"These fucking journalists...they just- ugh... can't keep their mouths shut. I shouldn't have done this- I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry Julia. You know I love you right- just please forgive me. What was I thinking... I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so so so sorry...please..." his hands were shaking uncontrollably as he dropped to the ground, salty tears staining his face.
"Shh...it's okay. You did nothing wrong. Everything is fine..." I rushed to his side, intertwining our fingers to stop his hands from shaking as much. He instantly wrapped his hands around me, the sudden force pushing me to the floor.

"How are you real..." he whispered between sobs.
"Without you- without you this world seems pointless...I wouldn't be here if-" the tears got the best of him as he completely broke down.
"I'm here...I'm not going anywhere. I love you, and always will..." I assured him, trying to hold it together.  He hummed in return, squeezing me even tighter but being careful. I continued whispering sweet I love you's until he finally lifted up his head. A slight frown crept on my lips as I observed his every feature. Bloodshot eyes, swollen lips and tear stained cheeks.
"Right now is the right time," he mumbled to himself, looking through me.
"We're going out,"