I Need You • JJK

Chapter 36

Siri POV

A few days have passed since Ji-eun's funeral. It was beautiful and she was laid to rest inside a beautiful closed casket.

Jungkook was a complete mess after she was gone. He cried every night in my arms, holding me tight and would fall asleep sniffling. At first he cried asking himself why she did this to herself and why she saved me when it should've been him who should have gotten shot. He thinks he should've fought Hoseok harder and tried harder to save us. My heart ached for him of course.

One night he asked why'd she do it knowing that she was pregnant and I was stunned silent. That's when I realised she hadn't told him anything. He didn't know the truth. All this time he thought she was pregnant?
I guess it did look that way though... Even I thought she was pregnant until I saw the doctor's letter confirming her cancer had spread and saw the scans of her tumour.

I was devastated at seeing the word 'positive' and my heart broke at realising that she's been sick the whole time. She was sick while we were sleeping together behind her back. I felt like the worst person in the world. And someone like her shouldn't have gotten this illness.

I didn't realise her cancer was so bad that she didn't have that long left to live. I thought she still had time... Time to be with her family as a family, with her husband by her side. I didn't want Jungkook to be with me while he had a sick wife. That's why I had to let him go.

It's wrong to be having an affair at all, but it's even more wrong to be having an affair while your wife is sick with something as serious as cancer.

I gave into Jungkook that day she got angry at him though. He just looked so hurt and broken. And since I love him, I had to help him. Help him heal and feel wanted again since for some reason she didn't want him even though she was sick- which I didn't understand at all.

When Jungkook said "if she finds us, then she finds us", he cut off my reply when I was about to say "But she's probably just angry because she's sick and tired from her illness" - but obviously I didn't get to say that and he continued to think she was pregnant.

I still haven't told him that she was actually sick with cancer. I think it would break his heart more once he realises we were having an affair while his wife has been sick this whole time. Plus it didn't really matter anymore when she's gone now...

The twins were strangely ok after Ji-eun's death. They kept telling me and Jungkook that everything will be ok during our 'family cuddle' time. They said that their Eomma is now a Fairy Godmother watching over us. It made Jungkook and myself smile when we heard that and it did give us a warm feeling.

While it was a very sweet outlook, it was still strange. It's like the twins had already accepted the fact she's gone. I wondered if she told them she was dying and prepared them for it since the Fairy Godmother idea can't have come out of nowhere.

Me on the other hand... I would cry with Jungkook sometimes. She was like a sister to me and I cared for her. However, most of the time I was tending to Jungkook and trying to be there when he needed me. Uplift him where I could. And so were the twins. The three of us were Jungkook's light in his moment of sadness and grief.

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It's been 10 days since her death (3 days after her funeral) and now Jungkook and I are in Taehyung's office. Along with Ji-eun's mother, father and brother, and Ji-eun's assistant/bestfriend, Jiyeon. And Jimin for some reason.

Jungkook and I sat on a couch to the left of Taehyung's desk, while Ji-eun's parents and brother sat on another couch opposite us. There was a coffee table in between us and Jiyeon was on a chair near our couch, while Jimin stood near Taehyung at the front. I felt nervous and confused that I was even here...