Benny Watts x Y/N

Chapter 5

I got ready as efficiently as I could but I was so nervous. I mean it was still Benny. The guy that bought you a drink a couple of nights a go and the guy who is going to drive you to the games to draw them. But for some reason, standing there, looking in the long mirror in his bedroom. I didn't feel good enough. The black jeans and the baggy tucked in white t-shirt didn't feel right. My makeup looked awful and I didn't feel pretty. I let my hair down and took a shaky breath. I wanted to show him that I was strong because I knew I could do it.

I opened up the bedroom doot and I rolled my eyes playfully. He honestly looked the same but when I looked closer, he didn't have his hat on (obviously, i'm not that stupid), he had some newer jeans on and a long sleeved shirt (A proper shirt)* He had his leather jacket slung on like he didn't care. His eyes met mine and I smiled. He knew I was tense because he chuckled, "Never been on a date before huh?" I nodded swiftly and placed some converse on**.

"God, Watts you didn't have to call me out like that did you know?" I laughed while going up to his face, "So, where are we going?" I smiled
"I was thinking a couple of bars then getting a pizza cause restaurants freak me out."
"Yeah that's not bad." I said,
"Oh, so have you been on a better date with someone then?" He laughed and I rolled my eyes again.
"No, but you might it some competition for some other guys" I laughed, we walked into the cold new york evening. And I realised, I forgot a coat.
"You dumb bitch" He started laughing as a shivered. I turned around to go back into the apartment but he chucked his leather jacket on. "I didn't remind you for a reason." We made out way to the first bar and noticed that there was a pool table. I had some change in my back pocket.  walked over to it and got the cues, Benny ordered a beer and a coke.

"Really?" He said while grabbing the bigger cue out of my hand and smoothing the chalk over it.
"Yes really, It's my made up right now date rule."
"Ah, I see?"
"We grabbed the drinks and we started to play, I was good at pool, I normally won, but Benny was good at the logistics with it, but he was not as good as me in the long run. When I potted the black, he groaned, "Of course you win!" He said while finishing his beer and chucking my his jacket and we exited that bar.

"We made out way round a few more bars, but my favorite was the one with the booths, because we could have a private conversation. I didn't care how I looked, because I wasn't concentrating on that, I was concentrating on finding out more and more about Benny. The man that asked me out at the bar was slipping away from me and a new Benny was emerging, a nicer one, one that cares and noticed things that I didn't think he would. Benny stopped ordering beers and joined me with cokes or lemonades. We made it to the pizza place and got one pizza to share and we walked back to him apartment, hand in hand. Wich felt nice, calming to be honest, like out hands fitted, intertwined and never wanted to leave.

I grabbed a pillow the second we made it to the apartment and I sat on it, taking a few breaths of the apartment before Benny sat down opposite me and said, "Go on, take the first slice." I did, and Oh my gosh, it was the best pizza I have had in a long time. A very long time.

"Have you done this to any other girls."
"What take them out on a date?" he asked, while picking up the pizza box and throw it in the bin.
"Yeah", Benny walked over to me and sat down, very close to me.
"No, not in the last 4 years, I've only slept with Harmon and we both knew that was a mistake." He smiled
"I mean was this a second date or?"
"Well, I don't think we need to label what is going on with us, cause I think we both know that we both are not ready for a relationship, because you are coming out of your shell after a long time and me, i'm a fucking world champion at chess, but I know that I nearly ready to settle down and maybe lay down on chess."
"No!" I yelled, getting up, Benny couldn't give up chess for anything or anyone. That was his life. I mean I guess he could carry on playing but not totally give it up, that is not fair. "Benny wha- yo- no- you- tha-" I couldn't get my words out properly.
"I would do it." Benny said

"Benny, please you have got to realise what you are saying! You ran away from your home to play chess, you are one of the if not the most incredible chess player I have seen. I don't know much about chess but you look like you are having the time of your life! You can't give up one of the reasons for living up for someone! I mean you can play just not as much travelling cause I would need help with the kids and I would want them to grow up somewhere where we both like and-" Then I stopped. Stared at his eyes and realised what I just said. I spoke about if we had kids oh shit.
"Yeah, I guess I would play some tournaments and you would sell paintings but I don't know how we would work it round the kids if we had the-" Benny then stopped, then the realisation swept across his face, he was speaking about our future.

"We both just did that didn't we?" Benny chuckled while running one of his hands through his hair. I nodded but stayed silent.
"I mean I might not even have kids." I whispered
"Why not?"
"I'm already 21, and you are 24-"*** I did it again
"Does that really change anything?" he said while giving me a crooked smile
"No, but-"
"But what?" Benny got up and placed an arm round my waist protectively.
"But I don't think I will be able to bring myself to-" I trailed off and locked my eyes with his
"We can always adopt." He said brushing a finger up my chin then down to my neck. I didn't realise that he was speaking about us.
"I like that idea but that can be our backup, not saying that-"
"I know you are not." He murmured
"Okay phew, I think it may take some time to heal before I think about having that with you." I said then I immediately realised that I said that.
"You never told me what he did." I gulped, "Cause if we were to have children I would want to know everything about you-"
"He sexually, physically and mentally abused me." I said, deciding to keep it brief, "When i'm ready i'll tell you in more detail."
"I wasn't asking for you to tell me, but thank you. Now I see why he deserves to be in jail. Come on, lets go to bed." I never really questioned if we were dating or not but I think that we need to address it to be dating so we are friends. But are we? I felt scared to get dressed infront of him, but when he exited the room to grab something I quickly got changed and then I realise how insecure I felt. TW My bruises were still kinda there and there were some scars.  Also my stomach, it was bigger today but you couldn't see it. END OF TW. Benny then entered and I crossed my arms, trying to hide all of the bits.

Benny climbed into bed and then I realised he didn't have a shirt on. He beckoned for me to join and when I did, he wrapped an arm round me and I slowly fell into the familiar feel of sleep.

*DON'T research them, they honestly look horrible, nothing like how I would imagine him wearing this.
**IDK If they wore converse but this is not an ad haha anyway yeah if you don't like them then wear whatever.
*** We will just pretend that they are that ages, I know Benny is like 29 but who caresss

A/N= Hello! I haven't done much writing cause I have a life! haha! I might get another one uploaded soon! Love you all! :)
30/04/2023
1475 words