"Anything yet?!" Brian yelled through the closed door, tapping his foot impatiently. "Can I pee first?" I yell back, slightly annoyed. He was so impatient, things like this are important and you have to take your time. I hear his footsteps pacing back and forth behind the door, with a light knock here or there. "Finally!" I sigh. I feel the doorknob rattle and I push my hand on the door. "Wait." I giggle. I walk out with a smile on my face "Yes!" He exclaims, thrusting a fist in the air. I laugh at his excitement "We're pregnant!" I smile. Brian picks me up off my feet, spinning me around. He places me back on my feet and studies my face. "Are you ready for this?" He says concerned. I smile "Baby I'm ready, I have to move on... Both of my Keenans would want that." "Ok.." His smile returns, as he buried his face into my neck. "We're having a baby!" He says again.
**
"Out of wedlock?" My mother winces. "Mom..." I sigh. She's been pressuring me into getting Brian to marry me for the past two years. Brian has never been excited for marriage, he doesn't believe in it. "I know, but I think you two should be married before starting a family. It's better for the baby. Besides Brian's a nice boy, he should settle down." I roll my eyes, we've had this conversation so many times. "I get it but, Brian and I are happy the way we are. A wedding ring doesn't define the strength of our love." I smile. My mother shakes her head in disapproval then kisses my forehead. "I'm happy for you two. Have you told Michael?" My eyes widen at her question. How would he react? I don't want to hurt him, and I'm sure this baby will break his heart. "No mama." I say somberly. I had to find a way to tell him. We'll be seeing a lot of each other for the next 6 months to work on this album. I had to tell him. I give my mother a kiss and leave to go to Michael's.
I sit in the car as I see Michael walking down the pathway leading to the private theater. My heart thumps, as he gets closer. He gets in the car with a smile on his face, sitting next to me. "Hi Jay." He says kissing my cheek "what's going on?" He asks. "I'm pregnant." I blurt out. That was not supposed to happen that way. I slowly bring my eyes up to meet with his. A look of concern came across his face "Are you ok?" He asks. "Yeah...I think I'm ready." I respond. He gives me a small look and then turns his head towards the window. I hear him sigh, "I'm happy for you Jay...congrats." He says somberly, not making eye contact with me "Thank you." I begin twiddling my thumbs. This was not going the way I rehearsed earlier. "How's Brian acting about it?" He asks, rolling his eyes when he spoke Brian's name. "He's excited, maybe more excited than me." I giggle nervously. Michael nods his head. "Well, here's the song I was telling you about earlier." He says sharply, changing the subject. He passes me the papers with song lyrics scribbled on them, and a tape with an instrumental on it. "Can you write a verse and a hook for it? Then we can go record it." He asks, still kind of coldly. I didn't expect any other reaction. "Yeah." I respond, he opens the door and gives me a light hug before jumping out of the car. I could tell his feelings were hurt. How does he think I felt when he told me about Prince?
I walk inside my house to the living room, insert the tape to play on repeat and prop my feet on the couch with my note pad and pen. Bobbing my head to the laid back, cool tone of the song I start reading his verses.
"All you got to do is walk away and pass me by. Don't acknowledge my smile, when I try to say hello to you..."
The song came off as a slightly sexual tone. So I start to scribble words on my paper for the second verse, slowly but surely the song was coming together.
"All I've got to say is that I must be dreaming, can't be real..you're not here with me...still I can feel you near me..."
By the end of the night I had a verse and a hook. I lean my head back and close my eyes to try and think clearer. But all I could think of was how Michael was so hurt at me being pregnant. I wanted to ask him but he'll deny it of course. So I just left it alone. It bothered me that he turned so cold, I just hope he won't be like that the entire time of my pregnancy. His support means the most to me.
**
"Baby, wake up." I feel a light shake. I open my eyes to Brian. "Working hard?" He says smiling. I return the smile, wiping my eyes. "How long was I asleep?" I ask in a mumble. "I don't know but you were knocked out. It must be the pregnancy." He says. Brian sits next to me, putting an arm behind me and rubbing my seemingly flat stomach, I wasn't even showing yet. "Our little Prince or Princess deserves the world and I'm gonna give it to them." He says looking at my stomach. He grabs the notepad reading my lyrics. I instantly feel a sense of nervousness. Lyrics between Michael and I are usually a reflection of our true feelings. I hoped Brian didn't see it that way. I study him as he reads Michael and I's verses. "..I caress you, let you taste us?" He reads one of my lyrics aloud. "What kinda song is this?" He laughs out. "One of the songs for the album with Michael. It's supposed to be sexy." I say shyly. "I guess." Brian retorts. He sets the paper down and sighs. "That doesn't bother you...does it?" I ask nervously. "No babe, it's the job. It's you and Michael's image. I get it..." He stammers, getting up, kissing my forehead and placing a peck on my stomach. "That'd be like you being bothered about my sex scenes in movies..." He adds. I bite my lip nervously. The fact I was even close to cheating on him last year still eats away at me. "I'm going to bed, goodnight." He says walking towards the bedroom. "Hey Brian." I call back to him. "Yeah?" "I love you, so much" "I love you too girl." He says louder. I couldn't think if I was trying to convince him that I loved him or myself.
YOU ARE READING
You Are My Life
Fanfiction"If you would've told me at 13 that this would be my life, I would have never believed you..."
