Chapter 59

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Severus

School's starting in a week or two. I can't bear to be near these annoying children for another school year. The dark lord has specific orders for me though. I am to weaken the students and staff for easy take over.

It should be easy enough, they're already miserable. But breaking Minerva's spirit will be hard to do. She's set on me remember some woman and her babe that I supposedly care for. I swear if she doesn't shut up I'll send her to the ward myself.

If the rest of staff didn't back up her story I would've already. She sounds mad by the way she is constantly bringing up this woman and the things we would do.

Like I would ever build a snowman with a toddler. It's ludicrous really.

I'm sitting in my office which has thankfully returned to its usual dark presence unlike my quarters. They had all summer to return it to its previous size and yet it still has a child's room and a chunk of a woman's belongings. I've removed most of it but I don't have time to deep clean my quarters.

But while sitting at my desk, a black swirl came and went with Minerva standing confused in my office.

"Minerva?"

"Severus. Good to see you." She looks puzzled as she scans my office. "Why am I here?"

"Why should I have the foggiest of idea? You just appeared in my office without a warning of any sorts."

"I must have been thinking about you when I apparated but I can't figure out why."

It clicked for me then. Someone tampered with her memories. I stood abruptly and came to her.

"Severus?" She took a step back. I grabbed her chin and inspected her face for any bruises or signs of harm. I let her go and she quickly stepped away from me. "What the hell Severus?!"

"Someone took your memories."

"I think I would remember that." She stopped and realized the idiocy of her statement. "But who?"

"What's the last thing you remember?"

She pondered for a moment and then said; "I was writing something down in my office while chatting with Poppy, I can't remember what it said."

"Well then, I guess I know where we're going." I grab my cloak and wrap it around my shoulders then Minerva and I race down the empty corridors to her office.

Déjà-vu pouring through my skin as I race to her office. Something is wrong with this. Something happened like this already. Someone else was in trouble and caused Minerva and I to race down these halls. But who?

"Minerva?" I stop mid stride causing her to almost trip.

"Merlin! What?"

"Could this be the same person who I can't remember?"

"No, it can't be. She wouldn't even leave where she's hi- no. No no no no." She raced off leaving me behind. I pick up my pace and chase after her.

We're both out of breath when I catch up to her. She's standing next to her desk in her office with a note in her hand.

"Well? What does it say?"

"It's blank... how?"

"Are you sure you wrote it down?"

"Positive." She starts rummaging around her desk trying to find something. She pulls out something dark and smiles. "Ah-ha! Severus turn off the lights."

I turn around and hit the light switch. She turns on a black light and the message appears.

"It's a message to me."

"Oh?"

"If you're reading this, we figured out where she is. We got to visit our girl and her momma. Sadly you don't remember but that's okay. What matters is we went to see them." Minerva reads from the paper.

"Oh?" I ask, "what does this have to do with anything."

I look over up at Minerva's face and a single tear is rolling down her cheek. "She's safe."

"Who?"

"Y/n." She smiles through the tears and I roll my eyes.

"Stop being dramatic Minerva. She died and even if she didn't, she obviously doesn't care if she wiped your memory and I'm sick and tired of being reminded of this woman for Merlin's sake." I turn on my heel and storm out of her office but she doesn't follow me. Thank goodness.

I go to my quarters and slam the door shut behind me.

This school year couldn't get over with fast enough.

I walk in and immediately get my attention drawn to the figure standing inside the child's room.

"Who's there?"

"Oh Severus, my faithful servant. If you do not care about that woman who died, why are her child's belongings still inside your quarters?" It wasn't actually the dark lord. Just a projection of him. His power isn't great enough to risk coming here himself yet.

I bow my head and then look back at his projection. "Hogwarts is lazy about its duties and I've been waiting months for someone to come dispose of it all. It's frankly migraine inducing."

"Hmmm," the dark lord circles me and my back stiffens as the hair on my neck raises. "How can i trust you if you don't tell me the truth?"

"I am telling you the truth dark lord. It infuriates me the lack of responsibility Hogwarts staff carries."

"Clean it out yourself then Severus. Your job is simple. This woman who died needs to be out of the equation; do you understand?"

"Yes dark lord. Whatever you say."

"We'll have a meeting next week before the school year starts. Don't be late Severus, your tardiness has started getting on my nerves." I nod and his projection dissipates from the air.

My back instantly relaxes without his presence and I roll my shoulders to release the tension. It doesn't work.

I run a hand through my hair and sigh. Within the fines of my room I can admit to myself how much I'm missing this woman. It's like she took all the happiness she made in me and left without a trace. I know her name, I know we were in love but this way, it truly seems like an act to the dark lord. I feel nothing towards her but I know she's the reason I'm not whole.

I walk into her child's room and pick up a small toy that was laying on the floor. It seems monstrous to remove of all of these toys and little kid things. What if they come back? When the war is done?

That's an idiotic thing to ponder on. The war will end in two ways. Voldemort dead along with me, or everything and everyone I love dead and I kill myself from depression.

I refuse to live in a world of no love again. For now I know it's out there. Or was. I'm still not sure if she's alive. But Minerva's pure relief made me think she might be.

A woman I can't remember causing me more longing than anyone in my life ever. I wish I could wrap my arms around her and beg for her forgiveness but I can't understand why.

This will be a long school year if Potter doesn't hurry up.

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