Entry #46

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I'll be honest, zach actually improved a lot during that week. that afternoon, we started over and had a "first date" where we reintroduced ourselves. we couldn't stop laughing at first because it felt so silly, but it was nice to start over. the entire plate was wiped clean. no pet names, no touching or kissing, no flirting, just hanging out.

I wouldn't say I was happy, but I was content at least.

I saw jimmy in the hall the day after and decided to ask for an apology. I deserved one, after all, since he treated me so shitty.

"gah-" jimmy stepped backward, probably startled. I waved, but didn't say anything in hopes that jimmy wanted to apologise before i asked for him to. "where were you?" jimmy asked finally, disappointing me.

i glanced away. "ms. gold's house," I answered, then looked back at him. "where were you yesterday?"

"I was sick."

I nodded and laughed a bit. "was that another excuse to get out of dealing with me?" I tried to joke, but it apparently didn't quite land.

"no," jimmy said firmly. "I was actually sick. I had a fever, and I-"

"I was just joking," I interrupted, rolling my eyes. "no need to get all defensive."

jimmy huffed. "well, sorry that I've been worried about you because you didn't come home last night or the night before," he pouted. "and you didn't even bother to call or text me, either."

I took a sip of my monster, trying to hide that I was upset. it was an apology, but it was sarcastic and not what I wanted. "funny how you say that, yet just two days ago, you told me I was victimizing myself because you fractured and dislocated my shoulder." I shrugged. "wonder why I didn't call you."

jimmy shook his head. "you literally said you weren't mad at me but you still blamed me for it!"

"I mean, you did do it."

"but you said-"

"jimmy, saying I'm not mad at you doesn't mean I don't blame you for something you did," I said, sighing. "look, I'm... I'm sorry I came off that way, okay? and I know it wasn't entirely your fault. you were just trying to help me." I looked away, thinking maybe he might get the hint and apologise as well. "that's all I came over here for."

"oh. uh... thank you?"

I looked back at him. "that's it?"

"what do you want me to say?"

"I don't know, maybe I was hoping you'd apologize," I said. I sighed again when he didn't respond. "I thought so." I glanced behind me where zach was standing. "I'm just gonna go, then." I waved a bit before starting to walk back toward zach.

"wait," jimmy called, and I groaned before turning around. "you're still with zach?"

I scoffed. "he's better than you."

"how?" jimmy grimaced.

I gave him a sarcastic smile. "because he actually apologized to me."

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