Deja Vu

8. Start Over

Phayu brought Rain back into the house.  He knew that he was gripping Rain's hand too tight but he did not care.  Rain was still here with him, and that was as far as he could think.

He sat down on the sofa and pulled Rain down on his lap, at first Rain was shocked at this and held himself stiffly in Phayu's lap, as Phayu wrapped his arms around him and pulled Rain's head down into his neck.  They sat like that for a while, both lost in their own world, slowly Rain began to relax as Phayu's hand slowly stroked his back.

"P'Phayu?" Rain asked,"Huuummmm" Phayu murmured back.

"I don't understand what is happening.  My life was normal and then I met you.  Now, ,my feelings are so out of control, that I don't know what way is up or down anymore" 

Phayu signed and gently kissed Rain's hair.

"I'm sorry, Rain" He began, "I am selfish and impatient man, since seeing you in the club I have done things I am not proud of, but I did it just to make sure I don't lose sight of you.  I am so scared that you will disappear or that you will fall in love with someone else.  I lost my mind, I am not like this normally I swear to you" He tightened his arms around Rain asked, 

"Buy why are you like this and why is it me?" 

Phayu pulled back and looked into Rain's eyes, "Rain, I don't understand myself.  I just know deep down that it has to be you, I am yours and I can't be anyone else's"  He pulled Rain back into his arms, "My dreams of you are so intense and full of longing.  Our past life is so real to me, they feel more like memories than dreams.  I know that you were taken from me, our story did not have a happy ending, I never dream of how it ends only that I have to make sure it does not happen in this life, I get the feeling we were betrayed." Phayu stopped talking and signed. 

Rain made a small sound for him to continue.

"None of this is your fault, its mine.  Please, please can you give me a chance to start over.  I will do anything"  Phayu sounded desperate. 

Rain was quite for a while, he played with the chain around Phayu neck. He thought about the last 24 hours, all that he had learned and done.  

Did he regret sleeping with P'Phayu? No he did not.  Why he slept with P'Phayu did not need to make sense, he just wanted too.  End of.  

Does the feeling of not regretting sleeping with P'Phayu mean I am gay? Do I still like women?  Is gender a factor for me? He did not have a lot of data to build a solid answer. So he reasoned that this does not have an immediate answer.  

The past life P'Phayu spoke of, did Rain believe him? This still felt like a grey area.  There was the countless drawings P'Phayu had drawn over the years, and he had drawn them years before they had met.   Is it because of a past life?  Rain thought about his own dreams? Could these be memories of the past life P'Phayu was addressing? Could we find a reference in his dream that we can look up and see if our past self exist? 

That thought perked up Rain's interest.  Now that would be interesting.  

"Rain?" P'Phayu voice interrupted Rains internal conversation, "What are you thinking about?" he asked.

Rain being the straight forward guy that he is, explained to P'Phayu what he had been thinking about.  P'Phayu was quite for a while and then asked, "Where do you want to start from?"

"Can we be friends first" Rain asked, "I want to know if I really do have feelings for you or if I was just caught up in feelings and a romantic story" 

P'Phayu heart hurt a bit but hope had not totally been taken away.  He nodded his head in agreement.  

"P'Phayu I would like for us to look in to the past life story, did our past lives really exist?" Rain explained, his voice rising with excitement.  P'Phayu smiled in agreement, "It might be a bonding experience for both of us and it might help explain on why you have these dreams"

"I only have one request" Phayu asked when Rain stopped talking

"And what is that?" Rain asked

"Can I hit on you still?" Phayu asked, Rain blushed, and nodded his head.  This made Phayu smile. 

"Right lets start on your mentoring training" Phayu kissed Rains cheek, "As much as I used the program to catch you, I am serious about being your mentor.  Rain looked surprised at this, his doe eyes went very wide.

"Go upstairs and wash up, today we find out what you know and what you need to know"  Phayu pushed Rain towards the stairs.  

Once Rain has gone into the bedroom, Phayu placed both hands on his head and let out a deep breath.  OK, they are starting at beginning, he will pursue Rain the correct way and win his heart.  He will also be the best mentor for Rain, he cares about every aspect of Rains life and this includes his studies and his future.  

Once washed and dressed, Phayu began his mentor program for Rain, and he was happy to see how Rain had a clear understanding on what he wanted to do.  He could build a good study program on the information they had covered today.  

Without realising it, they had worked though lunch and right up until dinner.  Rain was eager to learn and they had almost covered two days of work in one  day! P'Phayu was so proud of his smart boy.

They spoke over dinner and discovered that they had a few things in common.  Conversation flowed easily between them, and Rain was relaxed.

They slept in the same bed that night as there was only one bedroom in the house, but P'Phayu was a man of his word.  He did not try and push anything physical with Rain.  They fell asleep on their own side of the bed, only to move towards each other during the night.