The Thing Between Us

[15] Wishlist

•Wishlist•

Summary: What does it mean to be alive? Rosie who has been trying to cope with her invisible depression, finding out that the recipe to be happy is actually simple and always stay within her.

Cast:
Roseanne Park as Rosie
Jaehyun Jung as Kafka

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“If an angelic being fell from the sky and tried to live in this world of ours I think even they would commit many wrongs.”
—Sui Ishida—

11th April 2020
I will survive another day. Tomorrow, I will wake up and become stronger than I’ve ever been. Today was very hard; but I was only taking four pills antidepressant and I didn’t hurt myself. I am so proud of myself; I think I can make it alive and celebrate my 25th birthday with bunch of happiness. My father told me that God is kind—He will never abandon us. Therefore, I am praying to God, please granted me with ton of peace and happiness. Ah, I want to be healthy as well, being sick is not so fun. I wish my headache will be gone; please don’t come back! I want to sleep without any nightmare nor panic that will make my hands trembling. It’s so hard, but if I am trying enough, I think I can make it. Life is good—I want to believe that. Everything happens with reason, including my existence. Whatever it is, hopefully it’s a good one.

P.S. I won’t take any sleeping pill. I can sleep with ease and peace. A little meditation before sleep; big sis said that it’s worth a try.

Rosie
11:47 PM

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11th April 2023
Happy birthday, Rosie! You’ve made it this far! It’s been a tough life, but you’ve been very strong and brave to take another step forward. Living far away from your loved ones is not easy; living with somebody that has different perspective and personality is not an easy thing, but you’ve made it anyway. Congratulations! I am so proud of myself.

But damn, I still cannot fall asleep easily. Sleeping naturally is a fancy thing I cannot afford. This year, I’ve decided to not take any antidepressant and sleeping pill, I think I’m successful enough. However, occasionally, my panic attack will come and ruin my mind. I cannot sleep with an open curtain—it feels like somebody just peeking inside and watching me sleeping. No one will climb over 4th floor just to see someone sleeps, I know that I’m just panicking, and my reaction sounds very stupid. But it’s not easy, to shoo away that idea, I mean. If I can, since long time ago, I would’ve been sleeping soundly every night and won’t wake up with tears and cold sweat because I had a nightmare.

Dear my beloved self, let’s be rich and live in your dream place; a small cottage that faces a beautiful lake in Alphen and private library. Ah, I just got myself a beautiful copy of Crime and Punishment from a vintage bookstore that Kafka showed to me. Thank God, he asked me to accompany him; I’d been looking for that copy for a while, and the fact that I could find it there is a total bliss. Oh, I mess around with my words, my handwriting is getting worse too. It’s three in the morning now, I cannot sleep. I feel exhausted, but my eyes and mind just won’t shut. It’s so annoying. Well, there’s no option left, I will listen to Ghibli music or podcast. Usually, they will work, finger cross.