I will always go to you, my darling.

A fight

I sat on my bed. My thoughts, still racing and I was on edge. I needed to go out and distract myself. I got up and exited my room. I had my shoes on and tried to leave the tower. Damian stopped me leaving, "Where are you going?" I replied very snippy and annoyed, "Out. I'm going out." He got an offended look, "You didn't need to be rude about it." I let out a sigh, "I'd like to see how you'd react when you remember your mom not wanting you. That you could just be replaced faster than you could blink." He crossed his arms, "You need to talk about this, not run away from it." I widened my eyes and got offended. I pointed my finger at him,"I am NOT running away from anything." He moved my finger away from him, "I am trying to help you because if you don't talk about it, it'll become a bigger problem and you're going to be upset." I walked away before this could go any further. He walked behind me, "Don't walk away from a conversation, it's rude." I stopped and turned around, "Leave me alone." "No! I'm not leaving you alone! You need to talk to someone."  "YOU'RE MAKING IT WORSE!" I yelled at him, "I CAN'T BE AROUND PEOPLE RIGHT NOW! I CAN'T TALK ABOUT MY FEELINGS LIKE YOU OR CORY OR DANTE CAN! I CANNOT HANDLE MY FEELINGS SO I TAKE BREAKS FROM THE WORLD SO I CAN MANAGE!" He looked at me, shocked at me raising my voice. He crossed his arms, "Do you think it's easy for me? I was going through exactly what you did. My mother casted me out JUST like your mother did you. I was made to kill people, not show emotions. I was in a family just like yours! You are not the only one who has it hard!" Got even more offended, "I never, EVER said I was the only one who had it hard! I said you guys can show emotions easier than I can! Do not, and I mean DO NOT put words into my mouth ever again!" I walked away to my room, he followed me as I walked away. He was trying to get me to talk to him. I couldn't talk about anything. It would just make it worse. I entered my room and before Damian could get in, I locked my door. He started knocking trying to get in. I started to feel tears roll down my face. I have to ruin everything. Don't I?
Damian heard my cries, "Pey, let me in please. I'm worried for you." I couldn't do anything through my tears. I cried so hard that I couldn't feel my stomach. I heard Damian still pleading for me to let him in. I fell on the floor. My thoughts over powered my body. My pain from when my stepfather died, when my mother casted me out, when Cee had to move away, when I was alone, when I left my life to be happy but ultimately back fired on me, over powered me. And then the fight with Damian that just happened made it worse. I wanted it to stop. I made words through my tears, "Damian, go away. Please." Damian's voice started to crack a little through tears, "I'm not leaving you alone like the others. God knows I'll never leave you. No matter what goes our way, no matter what actions happen, no matter if I die, I will never truly leave you alone." How could he not be sick of me? I am a horrible person. I am a horrible lover. I'm horrible in general! I hate me! "How can you NOT hate me?!" I practically yelled those words. I didn't mean for them to slip out. They just did. I heard Damian pull out a key, the spare key I gave him for my room. I backed away from the door as fast as I could but he was in my room when I tried to get up. He locked the door behind him and walked over to me. He cupped my face, "How could anyone hate you? You are the most amazing person I have ever met. You are the strongest and the bravest because you stay around even if you don't want to be alive. You are an extraordinary woman and the best one at that. I love you with all of my heart. No matter what happens, I will always love you. And I mean it." I pulled him into a hug, "I'm sorry." He hugged back, "There's no need to apologize, my love." I cried more. I never really got to do that often. I never got a good cry before. I've never cried like this. It felt like all of the emotions that I kept piling up all this time just flooded out in tears and I couldn't stop until the emotions came out. The worst thing about it is that, Damian didn't leave. He held me, giving me kisses on my head as I cried. He sat, holding me, until I was ready. Everyone else would have given me my space. I don't know why he wouldn't leave me! He made me feel better. He made me, well, me. Not even a fight drove him away. He was crazy. He is crazy. Someone loving me for me is fantasy... But I guess it was a dream come true.