[Complete] Noise and Kisses {chicklit}

20

The realisation of last night hits me just seconds after I open my eyes. I feel guilty about Matt, who has only ever shown me kindness. I hate myself for letting my heart control the narrative. I knew I wasn't over Ben, yet I brought someone else into the mix anyway; how could I have been so selfish? The deep ache in my chest reminds me that this probably isn't going to end well for me... but I've fallen so hard for Ben, that I almost welcome the pain, which is the hardest part to get my head around.

I'm shifting between utter joy and total despair. And what happened between us last night just flags up more questions than I care to think about. What does this mean for us? Is this enough for us to build a real relationship? In the back of my mind, I think I know the answer and it's the only thing preventing me from telling Matt that we're over. And that makes me the worst person ever.

I turn to look at my phone and see a message from Matt.

Morning gorgeous - thinking of you, hope you slept well xx

Instinctively, I drop it back on the bedside table, groan and throw a pillow over my head.

Mum shouts up the stairs. "Holly! Time to wake up!"

I sigh and pull the pillow off of my face, but don't make a move.

"Holly! It's almost 11am - don't be so bloody lazy! Get up!"

I roll my eyes and hit my hands on the mattress. "Alright! Keep your hair on!"

Dragging myself out of bed, I pick up my phone and make my way down to see her.

"You almost missed the morning! Do you want coffee?"

"What a question!" I reply, and she laughs.

"In the pot sweetheart. Did you sleep ok?"

"Not really." I admit, truthfully. "Couldn't switch my mind off."

"What's on your mind?" She asks.

"Boys. They're so annoying!"

She laughs. "That they are... remember, you're only young. And you're just having fun... don't beat yourself up about it too much."

I nod. "Good point, mother." I say jovially and walk round to the pot and pour myself a coffee. The doorbell rings and I look at her for answers.

"No idea... shall I get it?" She asks.

"No, it's cool, I'll get it."

As I reach the door, I spy a familiar silhouette.

"Hey tiger." He says, smiling warmly.

"Hello! What a surprise!" I say, a little confused, but very happy to see him.

"You're not the only one who can make surprise visits. Besides, I told you I was coming last night." he replies, sweeping his curly fringe out of his eyes.

I momentarily think back to his message and smile. "Yes, you did. Come on in."

He chuckles to himself a little and follows me as I make my way back into the kitchen.

"Hey San, good to see you." Says Ben as he walks around me and takes a seat at the bar. I love how he's met her once but speaks to her like they're old friends. I laugh lightly at the thought.

"Hey Ben, what a surprise! How are you, dear?" She returns warmly.

"I'm good thanks."

She smiles. "Help yourself to coffee." she says before turning to me, "I'm gonna check on your dad in the garden."

I nod and make my way round to the coffee pot. "Do you want a cup?"

"Please."

I pour him one and place it in front of him. "So, what brings you here, Mr Sutton?"