[Complete] Noise and Kisses {chicklit}

21

After spending the weekend with Ben, I decide to ask Matt to meet for lunch to break it off with him. We agree to meet at the gates and make the short walk into the high street to eat. We decide to go to a sweet little café I've never been to before, but Matt swears has great sandwiches. We place our orders and I clear my throat nervously.

"Thanks for coming to lunch", I say, nerves making my voice a little shaky.

"Of course – I was happy to hear from you," he says, grinning. My internal dialogue is cursing me for being so awful.

"I just wanted to talk to you... after Saturday, I've been doing a lot of thinking... and I'm not sure I'm in the right head space right now to be getting into something new."

The waitress comes over with our plates as Matt's facial expression falters and I lose my appetite. I thank the waitress and put my hand over his.

"I've had such a lovely time with you, and you're literally the nicest guy ever... it's me. And it's not fair to you." My reasons are vague, and not entirely untrue... though I conveniently leave out any mention of Ben.

He nods but sighs. "I get it, you've been through a lot over the past few months... and I appreciate you telling me. I know this sounds stupid, but I really like you. So, if you want to hang as mates, or you change your mind - whatever, I'll be here, alright?"

It's not exactly the clean break that Ben was hoping for, but I nod and give his hand a quick squeeze. Friendship is never a bad thing, right?

I ask Ben to keep his distance from me at college to be respectful to Matt. In truth, I'm also embarrassed about what's happened with us over the last few months. Stories have circulated and it seems everyone knows my business, so I really want to figure things out with Ben behind the scenes before we go official again. Plus, I don't want to put our friends through anymore drama. I'm not sure how they'll feel about it all to be honest.

I tell Leila and Carly about Matt the next morning.

"Ah mate, what a shame. He's such a nice guy." Carly says, squeezing my arm lightly. I smile and nod.

"He really is - too nice for me." I reply sincerely.

Leila scoffs: "What a load of bollocks - you deserve someone who makes you happy, end of!" I can't help but wonder how she would react if she found out that Ben and I are in a relationship.

***

On Thursday evening as I'm studying, Ben texts.

Make sure your bags are packed. I'll pick you up after college tomorrow x

I let out a little squeal. I've never been on holiday without my parents before, so this feels extra special. I pop downstairs to let my mum know that Ben is planning to take me away for the weekend.

"Aww, that's so nice of him. Just make sure you're safe, ok?" I'm not sure if she means in general, or if she's referring to sex, so I scrunch up my nose in disgust.

"I will! Jesus! I wanted to know if you've got a bag I can use?"

"There's a few weekend bags in my cupboard - help yourself love." She gives me a little squeeze around the waist and walks off.

I head into their closet and from the enormous selection available, I select the green leather one - Sandra certainly does love a bag. Scrutinising my wardrobe, I decide to take a few different outfits because I have no clue where we're going or what we're doing. Surprises sure are great, but they make packing difficult.

After cramming far too many clothes into the boxy green holdall, I get ready for bed but struggle to sleep. I'm not sure if it's nerves or excitement, maybe a mix of both. I decide to listen to some Fall Out Boy to relax. As I lay there bobbing my head, the screen flashes to life. It's Matt.