[Complete] Noise and Kisses {chicklit}

25

Rather than share my disastrous weekend with mum and dad, I opt to tell them how much of a wonderful time we had. It's a half-truth - the first part was incredible... until it all came crashing down.

"We're glad you had a good time, Hols," says San, rubbing my arm.

I smile and nod. "I'm just going to put these clothes into the washing machine", I add lifting the bag to her.

"Aww, thanks love. We're planning on heading to the garden centre if you fancy it?" She says, walking into the living room.

"No thanks, I think I'm going to take it easy today."

After turning on the washing machine, I make my way upstairs to unpack my toiletries and put the bag back in mum's closet. When I'm finished, I collapse onto my bed, exhausted. In my back pocket, I can feel my phone vibrating. I groan and move slightly to free it. On the screen, I see Ben's name and answer the phone.

"Ben... I'm tired... what do you want?"

"I want to talk."

"I don't."

"Then just let me! Please!" he pleads. I don't reply and he takes my silence as acceptance.

"When I saw the message, I was pissed. I thought you'd lied and was still seeing Matt. I didn't know what else to do."

"You could've just asked me about it!" I say, frustrated.

"I know, I should have! I don't know what I was thinking."

"There's nothing going on with Matt. I told him we're over... he's just not giving up. And that's not my fault. I didn't ask for it and I certainly didn't respond to it."

"Baby, I'm so sorry. I should have just listened to you."

"Where did you stay last night?" I ask.

Silence.

"Brilliant. Well, thank you for calling... I'll see you around."

"Wait Hols, I didn't –"

"I trusted you. Again. And you let me down. Again. I gave you a chance to make this... thing a relationship and the first chance you get, you ruin it!"

"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry for every–"

"Do you know how many times you've said sorry to me over the last five months?! I don't want your apologies, they're worthless. You won't be happy until you ruin every fucking thing around you. So please, just leave me alone."

Before he can say anything else, I hang up.  He tries calling again but I divert the call to voicemail before blocking his number.

***

Later that day, I decide to call Leila and fill her in on it all.

"Oh mate, I'm so sorry... he's such a massive arsehole!"

I smile. "Thanks mate. I just feel so stupid, you know?"

"Yeah, well don't. You can't feel bad for wanting happiness, even if you didn't get what you were hoping for. It's his loss - not yours."

"That's true... I'm swearing off men for the foreseeable future, that's for sure!"

"Yeah, maybe you should just focus on you. And have fun - life shouldn't be this hard at our age!"

I laugh and agree with her sentiment. We continue to talk for a little longer and promise to speak more at college in the morning. After putting down the phone, I decide to quit moping around and FINALLY try to move on.