All I Want Is You (Bkdk, Dkbk)

- 50: I Was Shy And I Had Stage Freight -

"Seriously Deku, what the hell is up with you?" 

He should have known that kacchan wouldn't just drop it when he noticed something was on his mind. It makes him feel happier, because it's nice that kacchan still notices little things about him without him having to say it. 

He has to turn away, feeling heat rise to his face under the intense gaze of the blonde. He fidgets with his hands, trying to think of how to say the things he wants to. The things Ishida had said to him hurt, but still, he expected at least one text. 

It didn't really matter if Ishida texted or not, it was just how he missed school. Ishida was never the type to miss a school day, no matter what was happening. The feeling in his stomach was only getting bigger and bigger and more consuming the longer he let it stay there. He feels himself frown and he focuses on his hands. 

"Well... Actually, there is something..."

He knows that Kacchan doesn't like Ishida at all, so maybe he would get mad if he mentioned how he was feeling. But at the same time, if he was going to tell anyone about how he was feeling, it would be kacchan right?

"It's just..." 

As he hesitates again, kacchan nudges his shoulder with his own lightly. 

"Take your time nerd, i can fucking wait." 

His heart skips a beat, and he looks back at him. He feels more at ease as he gives him an appreciative smile. He nudges kacchans shoulder back and then hugs his legs to his body, digging his socks into the comfortable blankets. 

"Ishida Kun didn't come to school today and he hasn't texted me either. I-It's not like I'm over what he said and everything but still... i just have a bad feeling." 

"I'm sure that asshole is fine Deku, he doesn't deserve your ass worrying about him."

He doesn't even have to look at kacchan to know that he just finished rolling his eyes. He just hums, still leaning against kacchan, who hasn't pulled away yet.  Just leaning on the blonde has helped the feeling in his gut go away some, but not so much that its completely gone. 

What if something happened to Ishida? What if the fight and kicking him out got him so pissed off that he decided to do something stupid? What if he got beat up again by someone he pissed off?  Knowing him, the possibilities were endless. 

He's so deep in his thoughts that it slightly surprises him when kacchan speaks again. 

"You're always worrying about people who don't deserve it. That asshole. Me." 

Izuku looks at kacchan, even more surprised. Kacchan deserves it, he deserves to have people worry about him even though he pretends not to care or want it. It's what everyone deserves, regardless of their actions or words, at least, that's what Izuku believes. 

"Even when you don't have to you just... do." 

He's about to say all of this to kacchan, but the blonde catches him before he has a chance to, a stern expression on his face. 

"Just let me talk Deku." 

He nods stiffly, closing his mouth. Kacchan never talks about his feelings. Thats just the kind of person he was, and now he's trying to say stuff that Izuku has never once thought he'd hear from him. He was always full of surprises. He takes a deep breath, looking down in front of him, and lets it out. 

"I always looked down on you. Just because your quirkless. You were always far behind me but..." 

Izuku's heart picks up and he stares at him before forcing himself to look away. He doesn't want to say or do anything to make kacchan feel pressured or cornered, or else he bets he would just stop talking and demand Izuku never to speak of the moment again. 

"Even now i feel like your miles ahead of me. You can be heroic without even trying or ever meaning to, always with a smile that makes people feel at ease. It's just who you are. And that's something that i don't have, and i guess, in a way," 

Holy shit. 

Holy shit holy shit holy shit. 

Is kacchan, Katsuki Bakugo, actually saying all of this to him? His heart is hammering against his ribcage and his breathing feels shallow, but he stays quiet. He watches as kacchan struggles with what to say, his hands moving in front of him, clenching and unclenching. His brows are furrowed, and he looks frustrated, huffing out air between words.

"I didn't want to feel that way. So instead of dealing with that, I took it out on you. In horrible, disgusting fucking ways that... I'm ashamed of. And I'm sorry, Izuku." 

Izuku. 

I'm sorry Izuku. 

He finally turns to him, tears prickling in his eyes.

"I could never say it enough, and i know it won't fix all of the things that I've done, but i hope that it at least helps? I don't fucking know, does that ma-" 

His body moves before he has time to think about what he's doing. He hugs him, practically launching himself at kacchan, fat tears rolling down his face and out of his eyes. 

"W-what the hell are you doi-" 

"Kacchan!"

He hugs him tighter, his arms wrapped around his ribs. More tears fall and he sniffs. He feels so happy, like his heart is about to burst.  He actually said he was sorry. He didn't mumble it or move around it, he said it, loud and clear. 

"Kacchan," 

His face is shoved against kacchans shirt, and he sniffs loudly as more tears roll. Kacchan just sighs and pats his head gently, threading his fingers into his hair. 

"Such a big crybaby..." 

He doesn't think of much as he cries, until the tears eventually dry and he feels tired. It's so warm and nice, he can't help it. Maybe it was waking up early that screwed up with his sleep schedule, but he feels himself falling asleep. 

That pit in his stomach goes away.